Reviews for Insert Clever Title Here
Jim202 chapter 2 . 10/27/2011
The world you shaped here definitely had an engrossing, believable feel. The narrator's voice and descriptions drew me in.

"Another life gone, and the world goes on without noticing."

Liked that line.

"I make good progress on the plain that seems to lead to nowhere."

Liked that one too.

"Alone is nice. I don't have to look out for anyone but myself. If I wanted to die, no one would stop me. Like they stopped me at home."

This was good with regard to tone and character.

I also liked when Adela expressed some affection toward Mannie. Nice to see something beneath her tough exterior.
jayci chapter 2 . 7/31/2011
What an emotionally deep story. I am in awe at your gift with words! Very little to complain about. Okay, currently, NOTHING to complain about. You have great flow and grammar, and your stories are delightful to read! Don't stop!

(I was looking at my old reviews, and felt terrible for having not returned any of your insightful reviews! I was going to review a more recent story, but they haven't been updated in forever!)
Fals-Ari chapter 1 . 9/17/2010
I am SO proud of you honey You wrote something under 500 words! :) I like it too! You got the scene captured well.

One thing: No you're NOT allowed to expand on it. This is an exercise for 500 words. No excuse making it longer.