Reviews for Three Day Djinn
Prodigee123 chapter 1 . 11/17/2013
interesting
Guest chapter 1 . 1/6/2013
That's cool, although I did like it how it was.
You're an incredible writer so keep writing when you can please...for all our sales!
InuKaguFan chapter 7 . 3/25/2012
Oh my GOD! It's very hard to make me cry, and I'v never cried so much during a story. That is such a tear-jerker. The story is absoloutly amazing! Beautifully written with very few mistakes. A wonderful idea and a great happy ending!
TheOneLoneWolf chapter 7 . 1/28/2012
Okay, so just finished reading your story and I have to say, well done. Fantasy romance is something I still struggle with in my stories but you seem to have nailed it here. I appreciate that the sex wasn't the central theme of the story and there was more to the characters than simply describing in detail the blow by blow account of that activity.

I personally have a thing against short stories which I admit really isn't fair to them, especially considering how beautiful and compelling you made this tale despite its length. I think you might benefit (if you haven't considered this already) from beefing up the story at its edges a little: namely the beginning before meeting Eskil, that initial encounter, and at least a little more time with the two of them before you start moving in hyper-time (they are so cute :( ). Again I recognize though that this story was written to work inside the length it holds now though and that's cool.

The thing I think was most beautiful about your story was actually the thing I originally thought I was going to hate about it: the ending. As soon as I read that first line of the epilogue I thought, Oh you didn't. And then you did. I was ticked. I have to say despite how much I hate where I thought you were taking this story (no idea where the idea its more "realistic" for a story to end badly got into fantasy but I'm not a fan) your choosing to do so was brilliantly done. Before the epilogue I can say your story was cute, if not gripping and an entertaining read, if not riveting. The way the epilogue captured Eskil's and Lottie's pain however gave this story tremendous emotional power. I will definitely come back to this story to study how you did that, but suffice it to say doing so made this tale much stronger than it otherwise would have been. You convinced the readers both characters were about to be miserable forever and then snatch victory for them out of the depths of despair. I am impressed.

As for things to think on improving I have only one real complaint. The two main characters are well established and their personalities are pretty stable (which makes the tale easier to read so thank you), but the tertiary characters seem empty and fairly weak which I think does weaken the impact of your story overall. In fairness I recognize a lot of this comes from the story being as short as it is; again I won't harp on that. There are things though like Peony's motivations that seem too mysterious to be fully believable; it might be nice for her character to have appeared at some point during the three days or for her to explain herself better (I'd use judgement on that though as she is a rather mysterious type of character and she's really close to the line where that works for her). Another example would be Lottie's family; in the story she claims she loves her family but the only time she interacts with them she is continually annoyed and snappish at them which feels like a somewhat jarring personality contradiction for Lottie. Maybe letting Lottie confide to someone about what she's feeling early on could have helped this but just a thought. The other examples that come to mind are strongly linked to just having so little air time so I won't harp on the others.

Overall though I will say this was an excellent read. You have great skill and I hope that if this book isn't already published you will be successful in seeing it so one day.
Bloody-WhiteRose97DM chapter 4 . 11/30/2011
I want to punch Regan!
Aria Deloncray chapter 7 . 11/17/2011
I loved this! I was sobbing by the end.
Calabria1292 chapter 7 . 10/16/2011
I cried, well no actually I sobbed. It has been a long time sense a story has made me cry, and never one so short. But your characters became so real, and their pain so intense, and their hope and despair all just mixed into a big crying mass of Calabria, if you catch my meaning. Part of me wants to be mad at you, but it did end happily so i'm going to do something kinda' silly instead... Thank You. A thousand times thank you, and I hope you keep writing you have a very real talent for it, and I'm so very glad you have deigned to bless us silly weeping mortals with this story ;) so again, thank you.
Sophiakay chapter 7 . 9/29/2011
You made me cry with tears of sadness and joy unreleased succession. Be proud.
F.H.W chapter 7 . 9/2/2011
I was sobbing like shit. its so sweet! I love your stories. They all are very unique and descriptive. This story had a twist and it was very unexpected. Its very touching :)d a twist and it was very unexpected. Its very touching :)
Segna i do have an account chapter 7 . 8/17/2011
You suck so much! I've been crying for the last ten minutes'cause of this chapter. I thought Lottie was gonna die and that Eskill and her would never be together. My eyes are red and puffy and I can't stop hicupping and my nose is red and runny. Ugh, don't do that. That must've been one of the most depressing moments of my life. I just couldn't stop crying 'cause it was so sad. I mean the whole story was so sweet and it was about how they were falling in love then BAM, they can't be together, then another huge BAM, she meets someone and has kids, then the biggest BAM of all, she dies and he goes back into his bottle for eternal slumber with her. I still get teary just thinking about it. Wow you're good with description. I overall loved this story, though the last chapter was emensely sad. You suck for making me cry so much. : But the story was so awesome and I could feel the characters emotions so vividly it overrules my immediate dislike of those who can easily make me cry. :D All I can say now is keep writing.
No One Famous chapter 7 . 8/14/2011
Wow, the emotion in this story had me trying (mostly in vain) to not cry. The story didn't feel rushed which isn't easy for a story done in only seven chapters. I'm so happy Eskil finally got to be with Lottie for ever.

I normally don't review but I loved your story and I wish it had more reviews because it deserves it. I hope more people read this story and love it like I did.
Aphrodides chapter 7 . 8/11/2011
This was a BEAUTIFUL story. I'm at work trying to keep from crying like a goober. Thank you for sharing your story.
Greeneyes616 chapter 7 . 7/20/2011
Oh this is the sweetest story. I'm so glad Eskil was able to finally be with his Lottie. Wonderful tale!
Vespertine Charles chapter 7 . 7/9/2011
I'm still crying as I write this review. Leto, that was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. While a few grammar mistakes were present here and there, it was not enough to take away from the story.

This one really hit home for me because I lost my grandmother about ten months ago, and I just fell into a sobbing heap during the hospital part (even though my grandmother died peacefully in her home, with everyone around.) Really beautiful, Leto. Thank you for writing this.
Lunae-Ariae chapter 7 . 7/8/2011
Oh my goodness... I loved this story so much. It was very well written and original. I must applaud you for creating such feeling in oonly seven chapters. I found myself crying from the middle to the end of the epilogue and for some time after. It was beautifully written and a good read. Keep up the good work.
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