Reviews for Three Day Djinn
anita darling chapter 5 . 10/24/2010
I did mention to you that I changed my penname to Miss Maisy from arawrable, right? Anyway, another brilliant chappie (despite the lack of lemons). x
Aya Marie Love chapter 5 . 10/24/2010
HiHi! I'm so very glad that you get excited when I review! Eskil is so very sweet. He better decide to stay with her! if he doesn't, I may have to find you and shove all of my sadness into your face... well maybe not...yay alice is coming in november! WOOT! I CANT WAIT!

Sincerely,

Aya Marie,

the one who shares your excitement,

and adores your stories!
mewlexi chapter 5 . 10/24/2010
Hm nothing better than a nice wet Djinn ;D
mewlexi chapter 4 . 10/19/2010
Yes it is! Thankyou for uploading it soo fast! I love Eskil, hope he never goes away!
Sylvara chapter 4 . 10/14/2010
You still made the occasional typo (bout 3 or so) but I fear I'm still too lazy to note them. I hope you'll find a Beta reader sometime later so to leave a beautiful and perfectly completed work behind your pen, hm? (me bossy? nah..v_v)

On the happy side, albeit still as bothersome, this time, the typos were not as numerous as in the preview chapter. (Let see if I can fine one back *scroll up* sorry nope. )

Alright, questions time:

"When he returned to his bottle she would have to explain where he went so suddenly and that was more trouble then she wanted."

Why does she is so sue he will leave when it's obvious he is very fine with her? False modesty? (alright; characterization is a delicate crafting, but the cast here is quite nice so far. I personally think you can be proud of Eskil – even if he is a magical being (which allow room for holes of mystery – not that there are any so far - I’m merrily ranting)

"(...) Which is why you can deny them or accept them."

Since a djinn is usually known to *accept* wishes, why always mention it? I think the important information on this conversation was that he could *deny* whishes. The more synthetized a dialog the beter, nuh?

Oh I loved how Eskil had a hand into almost everyone's reactions. It was fun. Lettie reminds me of the one from Howl's Moving Castle (but it's just the name resseblance), and Eskil, of Terry Pratchett's Lords and Ladies. Dunno if you've read these books, but I'd recommand them.

- Ranting section :D

I though about the rules again and finally I concluded that the finder of the bottle whould always as an advantage on the djinn after all ; were he pleased or not with him, the human is always free to get ridden of the bottle. (BTW, what would happens if a djinni bottle ended broken; broken to tiny tiny shards?)

"A distraction for get their attention off us? Wish granted."

As much as I enjoyed reading the family reunion over to pay more attention at how Eskil influenced Lettie's relatives minds, I would have preferred if Eskil's did not gave his tricks away himself.

I explain; now that the rules have been exposed, it's at your advantage that you can play hide and seek with them by just letting us guess how and where Eskil's discreetly messing around (that'd be so fun!)

Thus, by just concluding with a vaguely mysterious: "Whish granted" (strike)he would not sounds like ranting nor so full of himself about his kindness(/strike) it would only add to his charisma and, motivate the reader to pay more attention to some scenes. )

I love you ideas, and you've done a great job arranging them. Please keep the quality up ! ;)

(Wow. Thats was quite a long-severe review. I hope it will satisfy you without indigestion. )

Farewell till next chap!
Aya Marie Love chapter 4 . 10/14/2010
ME! hi, . I love Eskil and I cant wait for that oneshot!

Sincerely,

your avid fan,

reader extroardinaire,

most likely person to annoy the wool off of a sheep,

Aya Marie!
Herro my name is DJ Not Nice chapter 4 . 10/14/2010
I loved the new chapter thoug I wish I was smart enough to remeber a sandwhich...all I had was a half eaten candy bar in my pocket. And it ended up melting.

I loved how eskil granted the wish to get attention off of them. It was cute.

And I love the little shout outs and reveiws to our responses
anita darling chapter 4 . 10/14/2010
Boop, boop :). I look forward to the next chappie!
Aya Marie Love chapter 3 . 10/11/2010
Ah, I have enthusiasm for ANOTHER one of your stories! I LOVE IT!
mewlexi chapter 3 . 10/10/2010
WOAH! That was just the BEST! Please update soon!
mewlexi chapter 2 . 10/10/2010
Yup! I definatley like it! x
mewlexi chapter 1 . 10/10/2010
Oh this is my kind of story_ x
Sylvara chapter 2 . 10/6/2010
There is something I don't understand, and I fear I am very CURIOUS o_o it’s about the matter of the bound;

"I wasn't going to give you wishes. I'll give you three days to prove to me that you're worthy enough to be my master. (…) To call you Master is not something I would do until the end of the three days.

(…) I'll do what I want to do, when I want to do it."

I'd like to know how the last Master he had (in the 3rd chap) manages to coerce him to obey if he is allowed such choices.

"Get back in the bottle or just leave."

How can it be? She gives him that order, and this time it seems that she really means it. But even if he is upset, he still doesn’t bother to feel obligated to obey... I don't understand.

“A Djinni can be a precious companion or nightmarish creatures that would make even the Underworlds devils cringe."

Does that mean that a djinni can be a precious companion *to its Master*, but a djinni can also be a nightmarish creature *to its Master*? And how could he? By misinterpreting his masters' whishes on purpose?

"I could grant you three wishes or three days. I've granted you three days."

Let see if I understand; this djinn has the choice between granting three wishes to its master and be freed from him and return in his bottle of solitude; OR he can ask for conditions, such as a period of three days freedom before having to grand anything, in exchange of what he then will grand the person's as many whishes as they want? Maybe it would have been better to mention the conditions of his bound in the logical order, because it took me time and will to re-tie everything the djinn said to understand.

Sorry to be my usual nerd, but rules are important matters in fantasy and it's sad that these are not clearly given. (yet)

_

I noted a few examples of the typos I mentioned if my previous review.

"Prove to me you'RE worthy enough to be my master."

"Some succeeded but they wERe greedy and couldn't handle such gifts."

"What I do now are my own (are) whims, mostly." ?

"Some succeeded but they were greedy and couldn't handle such gifts." Do you mean they couldn't handle *their wishes* ? Or do you mean they couldn't handle succeeding in controlling djinns? The construction of this sentence is a little difficult...

"You said you were granting me wishes." I don't think he said that yet in the story so far.

There are others but call me lazy... v_v

I don't want to bother you with that much since you still have to think about the next chapters and everything, but if you add these little details to the thinking, then I'd be glad I was of help.

Till the pleasure of reading your next chap! ;)
Sylvara chapter 3 . 10/6/2010
This is my favorite chapter in terms of storytelling, dialogue and surroundings.

I'm not too much into lemon but I'm very glad that there is a actual plot and I really wish you'll continue keeping this story as enjoyable.

Will there be more epic moment as those in the last part of this chapter? I really fell in love with the way you presented the situations and the characters... But I guess you have a plot in store for the present times as well.

On the other hand you have some typos there and there and frequently write we're instead of were, or you're instead of your. It makes the meaning of a few sentences quite difficult for me (I'm not very fluent in English). Even if I still enjoyed it all, I can't say that these little errors did not hinder my read and weren't a bother. I you don't mind, I'd really be glad if you would try to see some way to edit them...

What to add...? I'm glad the story doesn't dwell on the era difference the djinn experiences; implicit facts just make you story more intimate and interesting.

Oh and, you Djinn's personality re-boosted my interest for oriental fantasy and I regained enough motivation to finish the one I began since long ago. So thanks.
anom chapter 3 . 10/6/2010
update update update! this is utterly brilliant and I can't wait for more. x
70 | « Prev Page 1 .. 2 3 4 5 Next »