Reviews for Without My Olive
Nora chapter 1 . 10/18/2010
AW! This was so adorable! It was really well-written and I absolutely loved it! Ashir is quite...charming in his own way! You should be proud of this work!

-Nora )
NataliaNicolette chapter 1 . 10/10/2010
i really like the fact that you brought together two totally different races.

i try to do the same because there isn't enough interracial interaction in most stories, so kudos, hun : )

this os was really cute.

i love all your stuff!

Deyanira chapter 1 . 10/10/2010
I would find it hilarious if a guy sang me "Baby Got Back". The song is stupid... But I'm a Latina, so it totally applies to me.
Ryhona chapter 1 . 9/30/2010
White people ain't NEARLY as romantic as Asians, eh? I loved Ashir's POV (it's funny cuz I have a cousin who's name is Ashrit, lol) and I only noticed one thing: I'd rather have my ass kicked then have my heart broken.

It should be "than" instead of "then".

Lol "Am I really groping your ass?"

_ Great to see that you're back!
Moill chapter 1 . 9/30/2010
Sweet! Go Olive! I love a girl who doesnt take s**t from others. And finally a crazy guy who can cry!
Isforwinners chapter 1 . 9/30/2010
Seriously considering finding myself a lovely sweet Canadian-Pakistani for my own. Ashir and Olive are both lovely. This whole thing is just lovely.

Scheherzade chapter 1 . 9/30/2010

I fucking LOVE you.

My heart did a back flip when I saw "Canadian PAKISTANI." :D

I Loved it. Amazing job, once again!
Genato chapter 1 . 9/29/2010
colored people are funny, especially when you write them. OMG, ASHIR WAS TOO CUTE, LIKE A PUPPY. :)) GO COLORED PEOPLE! :) short and sweet, reminds me of your other stories... although this may be a bit too abrupt since I thought only Ashir had feelings for Olive... but suddenly, the desire switch went on and Olive suddenly had feelings for Ashir. Yeah. That's it. Other than that, I have no problems iwth this one-shot (oh wait, your first sentence should be 'around' not ' a round' except if that was intended. You always did write superbly. UPDATE YOUR OTHER STORIES. :)
Anonymous chapter 1 . 9/28/2010
Really funny. I always love your stories, thanks for writing.
anitsirK chapter 1 . 9/28/2010
That was BEAUTIFUL! I love it SO MUCH! :D I love Ashir and Olive! Even Irman and Rayla and Ashir's mother and Rayla. I love your characters. They seem so real. I'd want an Ashir myself! :D HAHAHAHA! I'm hoping, hoping. I love the way you write too. Very eloquent and yet crass in a good way. You really write like how it seems not like how you want it to be. Write more and gift the world with the beauty of your writing! :) chapter 1 . 9/28/2010
Loved this.

I hope you don't find it offensive, but Ashir constantly yelling "I'll kill him" at the beginning really reminded me of Jeff Dunham's act with "achmed the dead terrorist".

Otherwise, I really enjoyed this. Though I thought all of Ashir's confessions were a bit over-the-top, it was really adorable :)
Kjersti chapter 1 . 9/27/2010
Yay, happy ending! :) This story was so sweet. And sad for a long time, but thankfully it all ended well. Great work! :)
letitshine chapter 1 . 9/27/2010
Hey there. I'm a fan of yours. You write hilarious fiction. And I'm assuming that the type of people that you write are created partly from your own experiences.

Yeah... Anyway.

I'm a Muslim. And, yeah, I was quite offended by this particular story. I mean - there's this guy who's swearing by Allah. While drinking and lusting over a woman.

Yeah. See what I'm getting at?

But then I stopped at thought about it. And here's the thing - maybe your experiences with Muslims have shown that there are those that consume alcohol and/or pork, and visit bars and strip clubs, etcetera, but in actuality? Sure, there's always people who SAY that they're Muslims, but don't practice their religion whatsoever. However, we're forbidden from behaving like that. It's a whole morality thing that I strongly support. And... you kinda made it sound the norm for Muslims to go about doing any of the above.

Okay, fine - maybe you've been around those who HAVE behaved as such, but you have to be aware and also keep your READERS aware that it's not so. Otherwise - well, let's be honest here - someone's going to get offended, just like I did. And it's a pity, because it's always a pleasure to be reading something that you've written, so why detract from it?

Keep writing

johnandvan chapter 1 . 9/27/2010
I enjoyed, so funny, and how 'A' expressed his love to his Olive was funny, romantic and simply make me fall in love with him myself. Though it was a sucky thing he did betting but it all worked out. I own a Kia, so highly resented the jab at my fave look forward to more of your work.
samora chapter 1 . 9/27/2010
I loved loved loved this. it's so refreshing and i like how your charcters are not the typical white american for middle to upper class backgrounds. They are real, fresh and amazing and so much character and you make them so funny too. Like Ashir is bit of a goof but tries to act so tough by getting drunk and picking a fight with sri lankans lol. hehe

But really I just love all your writing.
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