|Reviews for Blood tears|
| fairythorntree chapter 3 . 10/17/2010
it's good, they don't dance at irish wakes, they have the closing of the coffin and stuff, tea and cakes, and story telling, but no dancing, it's good, well written, try not to change the words too much just to suit the accents, and lassie is a scottish word.
| J.A. Fletcher chapter 3 . 10/16/2010
It was a good chapter, but a few things got in the way of the story a bit.
You're still having a lot of trouble staying in one tense, so that still needs a little work. Try doing little exercises, writing little stories only a few paragraphs long where you use only one tense, and progress, making the exercises longer and longer until you can write a whole chapter in one tense.
Also, your Irish accents are not going as well as you probably planned. Important letters are being taken out of words, such as the "str" in "strange".
These can both cause problems for the reader while trying to read your chapters, sort of like little obstacles.
But other than that, good work.
| Punslinger chapter 3 . 10/15/2010
I don't know much about Irish wakes, either, but you seem to have described this one very well. This is a good chapter. The characters are interesting and you tell the story well. But "of coarse" should be spelled "of course."
| J.A. Fletcher chapter 2 . 10/7/2010
You have written a good chapter, and your accents are very well done. Good job!
| J.A. Fletcher chapter 1 . 10/7/2010
It's good, certainly, but you still have the trouble of not using only one tense. But good job!
| fairythorntree chapter 2 . 10/7/2010
I liked this chapter, very good, well written.
| Punslinger chapter 2 . 10/6/2010
This is a good chapter developing the plotline started in Chapter One. The characters are interesting to read about. I didn't see many mistakes, but in the third paragraph you wrote "see" instead of "sea."
| MentalBrink chapter 1 . 10/2/2010
it's quick, but I really like this storyline! I've never thought of a fisherman; there's so much potential here, keep it coming!
| fairythorntree chapter 1 . 10/2/2010
I like this! It's really well written, Go Ireland -whoot- It's where I live :) a proud irishwoman.
| Punslinger chapter 1 . 10/1/2010
Up to introducing the girl, you were writing in the past tense: "...he saw her!" Then you switched to the present tense: "It is a woman!" ... "He thinks she is real..."
You should try to stay in the tense you began with.