|Reviews for At the Zoo|
| BusyBee317 chapter 1 . 2/5/2011
I wasn't expecting the ending, that's for sure. Very good. I like the way you catch the reader off guard. It's really effective. Nice work. Good Job :D
| InkyPink chapter 1 . 11/28/2010
Ha, that was brilliant! I was trying to work out what on earth they were. GREAT twist. A chilling thought though, especially "near extinction"...*shivers*.
What was the story it was based on? I can't guess...
| xenolith chapter 1 . 10/18/2010
Oh, nice twist!
I thought of this idea too when I was looking at the prompt, and I think you've pulled it off really well. At first I wasn't sure about the dialogue, it sounded too stilted and unnatural, but by the end it totally makes sense. Loved the ambiguity and then the little detail that really, really threw me off, like the flick of her tail. Just yeah, good job with this :)
| backseat compromises chapter 1 . 10/17/2010
That ending caught me completely off guard! Wasn't expecting it and although I thought it was a little short, by the time I reached the end, yes, it was definitely perfect.
| Nesasio chapter 1 . 10/10/2010
Cute take on the prompt. It's definitely the most interesting one, in my opinion. It reminded me a bit of Planet of the Apes and an episode of the old Twilight Zone, which I thought was cool.
The 'twist' at the end was a bit obvious, in that I knew the creatures in the exhibit were human pretty early on (from the 'hairless' bit). Still, I didn't know what the main characters were so that was a nice surprise at the end.
Overall, nice job, and good luck on the WCC! :)
| sophiesix chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
I love the way you distance and objectify the exhibits here, like with the lines "Aren't they adorable?" and how they "frolick" in the water, i love that perspective jump of looking at something usual from an unusual perspectives, it tells so much about us, i think. Nice take on the prompt!
| lookingwest chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
"The female one is rather pretty, " ...
-Edit: there's an extra space there after the comma
Bwahaha, yeah this was quite humorous. I loved the twist at the end for sure, I actually had to read the sentence twice. It kind of reminded me of this music video directed by Heath Ledger for Modest Mouse's song "King Rat", where animal and human roles are reversed to send a message as well. Quite innovative here, and though I'm not extremely fond of self-aware pieces all of the time, I think this worked well and wasn't anything more than what it intended to be. I loved the dialogue the most, I think, it was so natural that the end was surprising, haha. Overall well done, and well put together with good description, dialogue, etc. Very best of luck in the WCC!
| berley chapter 1 . 10/9/2010
Very interesting interpretation of the prompt. You did a good job with leaving what species they were looking at until the very end, made for a good twist. I also liked the subtle way that you revealed everything as well. Well done. Cute story.
Good luck with the WCC!
| Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 10/8/2010
omg! Loved the twist to this one! If I hadn't seen the prompt, there's no way I would've guessed the ending.
Enjoyed the way you led up to it. Normal day at the zoo, strange girl, and then BAM human exhibit! Makes me think they're aliens or something.
Good job and good luck in WCC!