I like this quite a lot! It was a quick read, but one that I thoroughly enjoyed. When I read the summary, I expected something a bit more serious, but I certainly wasn't disappointed when I didn't get that. The characters were likable and easy to relate to; the story brought a smile to my face and tied together well with a happy ending.

But I think you called her Evelyn Scott once instead of Evelyn Strauss, which seems to be her real name, so you might want to change that. Other than that, no real complaints!

Really, really, really times a million so cute. x3 I don't think there's really much I can say other than that! xD Good job!

Unique song title used in a pretty unique song proposal. Loved the warm note this ended on and the casual narrative style; plus if Liam isn't like the best boyfriend in the world, then I've been living in a hole.

Anyhow, adorable one shot, and the conversation between Evelyn and Haley was so realistic.

Maybe a sequel?

~ Daphne

"I dunno Hales, I think he has something private in mind, I check with him though."

Edit: "...I'll check with him though."

"Evelyn Scott, if I was lesbian, I would so do you!"

Edit: "Evelyn Scot, if I was a lesbian..."

I wasn't just the fact that those were my two favourite colors, but the candle itself was significant to us, as a couple

Edit: "It wasn't just..."

I liked their first meeting. It was really cute. As was the pink and white candles and the special meaning to the couple. Liam's proposal was also cute, but made me laugh too.

I loved this because it met all standards of simply adorable and was actually and startlingly realistic as to how my proposal would go down. My qualm however is that this didn't seem like a real story; just a very well done and happy event. You said you'd be expanding, which I hope you do, because as is this is a wonderful little tidbit that becomes a very therapeutic read after going through many modern works, yet it is not at all a complete story. My only other qualm would be that the description of Liam midway through Evelyn's date-preparations drastically halts the momentum of the moment. I'd save this for a bit later, or disregard it entirely in favour of just characterizing Liam on the spot instead of halting your story to devote to him four paragraphs. I loved the story also for Haley. When you expand this give us more of her. She is terrific. Wonderful read.

Cheers

Cute! I loved the last part when Eve and Haley are talking about the ring. That's totally something one of my best friends would do. :D Anyway, great story!

Ridiculously cute :)

I loved it.

This is a really nice story. It could be continued with some wedding jitters or something like that since the characters are really likable. I like it. Thanks for your review. Also nice short story, your "Desolate".

This is really well written and so sweet! I love how they both met with their dates ditching them.

Hi. It is so beautiful story I ever read it and I love it. :) I am wonder how old are Haley, Eva, David and Liam? *curiously* I am wonder what kind of courses does Haley and David study? *curiously* How does Haley and David met? *curiously* How does Haley and Eva met then become best friends? *curiously* Does Liam finish his study at uni? What kind of course does Liam study at uni? *curiously* Does Eva and Haley have parents of their own? *curiously* Does Eva and Haley have siblings or pets at their parents's house? *curiously* Does Liam and David have siblings or pets at their parents's house? *curiously* Ah Liam have something special for him and Eva today. :) I am wonder what is it? *curiously* OMG Liam and Eva dated for three years together. They are so luckily to meet by destiny and fate. :) Aww Liam is so romantic and so sweet guy. Eva is so lucky to have him. :) Liam sound so hot and sexy guy. *wink* Liam is so perfect and so wonderful guy Eva ever have. :) OMG Liam built a treehouse for Eva and their special place for private. Thats so sweet of him to do that for her. :) OMG Liam got in car accident. How does that happen to him? What causing him to have car accident? *curiously* I am so glad that Liam is okay. Phew. Yay. :) I am wonder how long does Liam work at his father's office as assistance? *curiously* Aww Eva bought candles for Liam and he kept them for treasures. Thats so sweet of him. :) OMG Liam is propose to Eva. And she said yes. Yay. :D I am wonder why Eva hate Keisha so much? *curiously* I am so glad that Eva and Liam are getting marriage. :) I am wonder what jobs are Liam and Eva are plan to work at after they get married in future? *curiously* How many children will Liam and Eva are going to have in future? *curiously* Are Liam and Eva are animal lovers? *curiously* It is so amazing story and I am so enjoy read this story. I love it. :) I'll read the other three stories tomorrow. I am hope that you will write Haley's story in the future. Please keep writing. Don't stop writing because you have amazing talent for writing. :D Thank you so much for check out my story. I appreciate it. :) I hope that you will stick around and keep reading my story until end. *hugs*

This was adorable and so romantic! I love it! :D It's just so cute that he proposed to her in a treehouse he'd had since he was a kid, and by quoting a song by Kesha! xD And I think it was really funny that they'd met by going on a double date, and having both their dates ditch them! :D

Great story! :)

This story was very cute and funny . I really enjoyed it. I liked the idea as a one-shot, as well as the characters. Evelyn and Liam are both very believable characters, and their reactions were realistic for people in their situation. :D - Woodpecker.

It's cute, and funny. :)

I liked Liam's personality... he didn't get offended when she suddenly laughed out loud for so long at his proposal. *lol*

He seems to truly understand her personality and likes her despite, and for her craziness- guys like this is hard to find now, Lucky Her! ;)

“My roommate and best friend [Haley Strauss] handed me my phone as it vibrated and played Dance Dance”

- There should be commas around your appositive phrase, and song titles go inside quotation marks. Also, why is this person’s ringtone so important? The fact that you mention it tells readers that there is something significant about the narrator’s song choice. If there’s nothing special about that song, then you shouldn’t include it at all, because it’s an unnecessary detail.

“I sang along (terribly out of key, might I add) [for] the first few lines [and] opened the message.”

- You’ve got a few awkward words here. Switch ‘for’ with ‘to’, ‘and’ with ‘before’, and add that this person opened the phone. And just leave off with what’s inside the parentheses. The new sentence should read like this:

- ‘I sang along to the first few lines before opening up the phone and reading the message.’

“Wear something sexy. ~Li”

- I have a bit of a problem with how you closed this text message. Most people don’t sign it or leave their name at the end, so while it’s a nice trick to help reader understanding in your story, it isn’t very realistic.

“She lent me her emerald-colored dress”

- Why not just say green dress?

“my ancient pair of black [eleven inch] stilettos”

- I have a very hard time believing that this person would wear shoes that high. It’s definitely not very realistic. Like, go an google a pair of 11 inch heels. You cannot be serious about that.

“She's really beautiful, she has bright red long hair with the most perfect curls you could imagine, she's tall and petite, and she has the most piercing green eyes.”

- It’s a very, very bad idea to sum up a person’s entire appearance altogether, especially if it isn’t relevant to the plot. It’s always a good idea to spread it out quite over quite a few paragraphs or scenes.

“in excitement of what she had turned me into.”

- Separate this into a dependent clause by rewording it to say: ‘exited at the sight of my appearance.’ Or something similar.

“I shook my head [smiling] and walked out”

- ‘Smiling’ should be set apart from the

“it was the first time I had sex. Haley said it was the mark of becoming a woman.”

- So basically you’re saying that a girl can’t be a woman until she’s had sex? That’s sort of ridiculous, if you ask me.

“He's medium in height, nearly two inches taller than me, lean and well-built, and has dark blue eyes.”

- There you go again with the all at once description of a character.

“I think it's about a hundred carats.”

- Is this supposed to be an exaggeration? Because it doesn’t come off that way, and seems a bit silly.

Okay, so I’m a little confused as to why you put this story in the humour genre. It isn’t at all funny. It was romantic, yes, though certainly very corny and clichéd. This style of fluffy writing is definitely not my thing, even when it’s well-written.

Another thing you might want to watch out for is verb tense. You switch back and forth between past and present quite a few times, and it starts to give the reader whiplash after a few paragtaphs. Always try to stick with one tense.

I think the idea behind this is unique enough, but the presentation is lacking.

Aw, this was so sweet, you could totally feel her delight.

I found it really funny that her first priority to is to turn her back on her beau and chat to her friend about the costliness of the ring! but that's good character building i guess, letting us know her priorities, and that she's not perfect :)

A coupla things I wondered about: is it Evelyn Strauss or Evelyn Scott? or is one of them her middle name?

And i'm not heaps keen on direct description of characters, especially in the first chapter, but i did think it was a good way to fill in time while she walks to the tree house. heh heh, would love to see her climb into that tree house in those heels and that dress! it sounded beautiful, by the way, i'm totally jealous.

This flowed really nicely apart from that, and your MC has great character and energy. great stuff!