Reviews for Juicy Fruit
LangaSunny chapter 33 . 3/12/2013
I really love this story. I couldn't stop reading so I read it in a day. I love the characters a lot and love that you don't go into too much detail when describing things. The flow of the conversations was very good and I love how anti cliche that was
Guest chapter 9 . 3/12/2013
I'm quite enjoying the story but you really need someone to check your Spanish.
There's serious mistakes, like in chapter 9, you have 'comerse' for what i assume you meant 'eat that', it should be 'cometelo' o 'comelo'. I don't speak Mexican Spanish but that's just not ok in any possible world.

"Don't blow bubbles in your milk," I tell Carlos. "Sit up and eat your vegetables." I scoop a few more peas onto his plate, and he gives me a pathetic little complaint that I ignore. "Comerse! It's good for you."

"Piscina niño"... makes no sense, at all. It's two random words put together. Did you mean 'el niño de la piscina'? 'la piscina infantil'? At the linguaphiles community in livejournal they should be able to advice you on appropriate translations.

Minor but i might as well...not 'senior' but 'señor'.

A particular pet peeve of mine is vocatives (things you call people, from "sir" to "idiot" to "Johnny") not being separated by comas, sometimes you do it and sometimes you don't so I'm assuming you might not know the rule that says they always are, since they are a separate sentence.

Hope that's helpful :) I'm going back to reading now!
BlaseBlanco chapter 33 . 3/4/2013
I cried the first time I read this and now I'm hesitant to read it again even though I know it's absolutely amazing. So is the mix for the story. If there was ever a story worthy of knowingly putting myself through serious emotional turmoil for a second time, it's this one.
semantics chapter 25 . 1/30/2013
BEAUTIFUL like usual! This story is quiet old, but I decided to give it a go as I thoroughly enjoyed Art Criticism. I love your writing style! I was absolutely surprised when Jaime and Eddie became friends... seriously, who've thought? (I guess there was kind of a prelude, as you mentioned earlier in an A/N that you liked Jaime.) Once I read through one chapter, I couldn't stop... the 'next' button was seriously abused.

I'm glad I got through so far. The next question on my mind is... does Jaime like like Eddie? Oh God how will that turn out? Hehe, it's quite refreshing to see that Johnny's tastes have changed a tad bit. Jaime is so effeminate and delicate and small... and Eddie, not so much. But they both have hot tempers, so I guess Johnny is the one to go for those types.

Also, I love how you incorporated the Catholic religion with Eddie's Latino roots. It definitely adds more character to Eddie- not only is he gay, but he was brought up with strong Catholic influences from his background.

Great job, and I look forward to reading more works from you.
Guest chapter 33 . 1/14/2013
I have read some of your other stories, but had avoided this one because of the "sad" warning. I also thought it wasn't complete. I am so, so glad I read it. While I wouldn't call it happy, it was so engrossing and I became so invested in what would end up happening to everyone. Thank you so much for writing the epilogue- now I can sleep! I'll be bookmarking this and re-reading it for quite a while.
Guest chapter 33 . 1/13/2013
I love the chemistry between the two lead characters.
labellavita13 chapter 33 . 1/1/2013
I haven't read this story in a while. Even better then I remember. You are not only a great writer but also a smart one.
nffhkasjfnbsdkjb chapter 33 . 12/28/2012
I just...I just completely love this and I think any words I write to let you know how much, will not do this story justice.
It's made me pensive, this story, it's made me wonder about the characters, because they really came alive for me. And I love how Johnny and Eddie's relationship wasn't perfect, how they never told each other how they felt until the end, but they were just falling deeper. I have to say at some points I felt scared for Eddie with all the pain/sex stuff as I didn't know how far you were going to take it with them, and I was scared of Johnny too and he seemed to be becoming more unhinged. And then for him when all the drug stuff he was dealing in started to go pear shaped. But I also think in the end he came a long way in redeaming himself at the end.

The only part that I have any concrit about is when Eddie leaves Johnny for putting him at risk and not telling him and not getting tested. To me Eddie seemed a little unemotional about the whole thing, and I know you were showing him trying to get on with his life and dealing with a sick Jamie but I just felt it was a little out of character for him.

I love all your background researching you did into this too, and the Spanish (I love Spanish).
I'm so glad I got the opportunity to read this, it is a very sophisticated piece of writing and one of the best stories I've read this year, published or not.


YellowCandy chapter 33 . 11/29/2012
Thank you for this wonderful, touching and exiting story. I was a joy to read. I especially liked the ending, perfect. )
Hanna chapter 33 . 11/13/2012
I loved the story, your writing and the characters. Even though I don't know the Mission or SF, I could feel myself transported into this world. Well done for having done such an excellent job.
The maiden moon chapter 11 . 10/9/2012
I fucking love Johnny:) he's just so insane and sexy and bipolar:) I love this story!
xoxlizzie chapter 33 . 10/2/2012
This story made me laugh and cry and looking back on who i hated in the beginning of the story, I realised they were my favorite character by the end (I was referring to Jaime if you didn't already guess lol).
Every character in this story had their ups and downs and it really had a lot of insight into the way they all think. You did a fantastic job.
This is one of those stories that I'll remember because it touched me, so you did a fantastic job. I loved it
Midnights Scream chapter 33 . 9/20/2012
That was amazing...and heartwrenching...and one of the best things I've ever read! I'm highly impressed. You had such loveable, real characters. I'm glad there's a happy ending
Midnights Scream chapter 24 . 9/20/2012
I totally forgot that Johnny was a blonde. Nice pic in the link btw. I'm sooooooooooo happy I started reading this. I wasn't sure how I felt about the summary, but I started the first chapter and just can't stop reading it. Wonderful job!
Alie38 chapter 5 . 9/9/2012
I know this story is already complete, but maybe for future is really distracting trying to determine what the Spanish words mean. I am almost ready to give up the story just for that reason alone. Otherwised I like it so far.
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