Reviews for Galaxy
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 11/28/2010
"planetary alignment has more to do with fate, then one hit wonders."...I think you meant more do with one thing (fate) THAN the other (one hit wonders), but also if that is the case you wouldn't have the comma so I'm not sure if maybe you did mean then as a chronology?

I liked how the end with the planetary alignment kind of referred back to the beginning part about the universe. That said the beginning wasn't my favorite. The whole thing about the universe seemed to come out of nowhere and didn't really relate to the the whole bar thing...

Anyway the rest of the piece was really great. I especially liked the part about the mosquitoes that was a really interesting description and so true. The format was nice too with the line breaks not as paragraphs with new sentences, but much longer than typical poetry. It was really interesting.

PS Check out the Review Game and/or it's Review Marathon (links in my profile!)
Postscript624 chapter 1 . 10/15/2010
I'm not sure if I like this or not. Either I really, really like it a lot for your fantastic language, or I dislike it for the same reason (by which I mean that it feels overdone).

The opening bit hits nicely, but the part that comes after it "Violet neon sign..." feels unnecessary (it might just be me though) and kind of feels like a "look what I can do" type-thing. Not there's anything wrong with that, it's just I don't know if I like it or not.

Eh.
amavian chapter 1 . 10/15/2010
rare to see prose from you i like it though.