Reviews for Flower Heart
YasuRan chapter 1 . 10/29/2010
Enchanting. I love the line 'You are here, holding my hand,/And I have lost you'. It's like someone saying a gentle goodbye. The soft imagery of flowers and petals adds to the quiet sadness of the poem. Also liked the play on forget-me-not the flower and the phrase.

'Your sad smiles are hands/Picking off petals in my flower heart' is a wonderful line as well. The image just tugs at your heart.

Well done. I loved reading this.
HiddenFromYou chapter 1 . 10/22/2010
You use much simpler language in this poem than the last, but the language type matched what you talked about it, which was good. The writing flowed smoothly, though I would have liked there to be a little more detail in places, as it felt rushed here and there.

The last line in this poem is really strong, as it links back to what you've written about and (something you didn't do in the last one I reviewed) kept in touch with the overall way of writing.

-From the Review Marathon (link in my profile)
steffxnie chapter 1 . 10/18/2010
I really like the rhythm and the metaphors in this! Especially the part near the end. Lovely piece, write on! :)
paradisgatan chapter 1 . 10/18/2010
Great concept, great execution. I especially like the idea of "But you're just smoke in the air and I / Try to breathe you in."