Reviews for Drive
mktoddsparky chapter 1 . 12/27/2011
Alright, I promised that I'd read through and review some of your stuff, so here I am :p Honestly, I'm a hopeless romantic, so I flicked through some of your stuff until I found this, and I must say...wow.

One of the things that struck me while I was reading was that it was so real it didn't feel like a story. I felt like this could be happening somewhere around the world, and that made it a lot easier to get lost in the plot.

I love your writing style, overall. You write very simply, for the most part, using description enough so that the reader gets a picture of the setting, but not enough that the reader gets caught trying to understand. I find that I get caught in that trap too often with my writing, lol. :p

Now, let's see...there was only a few things I felt didn't flow quite as well, so I wanted to point them out really quick.

["What about Billy? And Jim? I thought you three were pretty tight."] From the gist of the story so far, it seemed like Cami was a bit of a flirt, but they didn't associate very much, so I found it odd that she'd know the name of his friends. I mean, Seth's not popular or anything, so usually it's not necessary to keep tabs on friends' names unless she was stalking the kid :p

[He nodded slowly, remembering the way she'd looked, two days ago now, when he found her crumpled body at the side of the road, hit by a careless drunk driver who'd disappeared into the night.] I'm not quite sure what this was. I've read it over several times, but I still don't really get what it means. If she was hit by a drunk driver, she should have been in the hospital, not on the move so soon after the accident, right? And I don't think this story is a memory from the past, so...idk. Perhaps I misread it. Enlighten me? haha.

All in all I really liked this story. The characters' voices were believable, and I felt bad for Seth when he was talking about his brother. The raw emotion there was great. Awesome job :)
overflowing chapter 1 . 7/16/2011
I like it, especially how Seth and Cami develops this little bond during the drive from accepting each other when she gets into the car, to talk about taste in music which can be embarrassing sometimes if it's with someone you don't really know, to at last confide in each other about their feelings and lives.

Good work.
Too Much Info chapter 1 . 2/13/2011
Wow.

Great work.

I did not expect the ending.

...and I really liked it.

See ya'
ranDUMM chapter 1 . 12/4/2010
Hey,

I really like this, and can't understand why it's so underreviewed! I thought that you perhaps introduced a little too much into a short story, but I didn't really notice. It was nice, because it was literally two broken people who just needed a release if only for a little while, and they needed someone to open up to. The tone of your story is consistent, and your grammar and stuff was good. Awesome story :)

ranDUMM

- repaying review 1/1
YasuRan chapter 1 . 10/20/2010
In a word, that ending was 'mysterious'. I had to reread it again until I finally got it. Two interesting characters and driving. Reminded me of the Incubus song :D

I really liked the bit about Cami projecting the image she wanted others to see. Really liked it. I could relate to that on many levels. Great rock music in the background as well. Added some edgy-ness to the mix.
MyFadedDreams chapter 1 . 10/19/2010
This was pretty good. I thought it was kind of cliche though-the characters and the storyline. Cami was kind of a mary-sue and Seth was the typical angsty rebelious teen you can find almost anywhere. I got a little frustrated when Cami just started spouting off all this deep heartfelt stuff and apologizing because honestly in real life, who does that? You don't just say those kinds of things to someone you hardly know. By the end I was willing to let it slide seeing as she's dead and all. I guess if I was a ghost I'd tell people anything. Life is short and all-or in her case, life is gone. The ending was kind of cliche too but it worked for the story. I wish you would have done a little foreshadowing earlier on when Seth picks Cami up-maybe give us a hint that somethings not completely right here. Because I don't know about you, but if I saw a girl I knew was dead walking down the street, I'd be at least a little wierded out. Seth didn't react at all and I don't think that's quite fair because he's human like the rest of it and a ghost is a ghost, harmless or not. Overall though, this was a good read.