Reviews for Words A Day Collection
pattersonfan chapter 2 . 6/21/2012
amazing poetry
Elizabeth-Dare chapter 2 . 12/24/2010
I wasn't sure what to make of this. It gave me an internal battle vibe. Like one part of you was saying you were alone. But another part of you kept telling you that you weren't.
HiddenFromYou chapter 40 . 11/28/2010
I like the use of the word "miasma" because not many people are brave enough to use words other poeple might not know. I don't like the use of the word "longed", however, because it feels forced in there so you can get a sort-of rhyme.

For what it's worth, you don't show yourself to be inexperienced at poetry writing at all. I've enjoyed reading all your stuff. :)

-From the Review Marathon (check out the link in my profile)
HiddenFromYou chapter 39 . 11/28/2010
This: "Tales of my father/fly through my head./How he forgived them/all of my friends." was a little bit thrown in, but I found that it was my favourite part, because it was a connection to the poem for me.

"I wake up early in my bed but I'm late for my train.

I try to arrive on time,/but the train isn't there, I'm alone." - I liked the first line because it had the contrast of "early/late", so I think in the second line you should cut out the "try to" to give another contrast.

"How he forgived them/all of my friends." - There should be a comma at the end of the first line.

"Another day alone another day with hell." - There should be a comma after the word "alone".

-From the Review Marathon (check out the link in my profile)
HiddenFromYou chapter 38 . 11/28/2010
I like that I can also agree with the first part of this poem's viewpoint, that the old are waiting for death to come along and take them, but they're always waiting too long, because that way I've connected with the poem and can find the meaning behind your words. Personally, I never want to grow old.

I also like the swearing in this, because you don't use it too much or too little, and you don't simply do it for the sake of it, you use it to put across a point.

-From the Review Marathon (check out the link in my profile)
HiddenFromYou chapter 37 . 11/28/2010
I like the fact that, even though this is one the message I don't fully agree with, it's certainly a very engaging perspective, because you don't simply state your opinion, you explain it and what's behind it. I also like the way you write about it because there was plenty of power and emotion behind your words, as you obviously feel very strongly about the subject.

-From the Review Marathon (check out the link in my profile)
HiddenFromYou chapter 36 . 11/28/2010
I liked the feeling of a mystery that the reader had the figure out that was woven into this poem. It kept me interested and trying to work out what you meant by everything you wrote.

I also like the "I'm going anywhere" line. It's really quite powerful and leaves the reader with a real sense of hope.

-From the Review Marathon (check out the link in my profile)
HiddenFromYou chapter 35 . 11/28/2010
The opening line was a brilliant long hook. I've always liked those long kind of run-on lines that flow well and don't sound forced, because it's a way of getting the pace to speed up with creating tension, and you've used that tool very well here.

The last stanza though had me thoroughly confused. This is the most random thing I think I've read in any of your poems and I'm really at a loss at how it links to anything. :/

-From the Review Marathon (check out the link in my profile)
HiddenFromYou chapter 34 . 11/28/2010
Even though I like the "morning/mourning" play on words, I think you need to find a new set to use, as using something over and over can make it boring for the reader.

Even having said that though, I did like this poem, because I was pleasantly surprised at how new is was and how you can take some of the old and make it into something fresh.

-From the Review Marathon (check out the link in my profile)
HiddenFromYou chapter 33 . 11/28/2010
"When was the last time you were dead?" - I like this line because it comes across as so matterafact and casual that it's quite chilling.

"I want to be embraced by the white, black sky." - I like this line because it doesn't half of it doesn't directly link back to anything in the poem, but the other half does and therefore links both of them. ...I hope that makes sense, because it really doesn't the way I'm reading it. :/ I also like it because it holds a contradiction of terms.

Those were my two favourite lines, but I can't really say anything else other than great poem. :)

-From the Review Marathon (check the link in my profile)
HiddenFromYou chapter 32 . 11/28/2010
I liked this poem because it was indeed beautiful. You've some very calm, happy words here that fit together really well. This is one of the best happy poems of yours I've read.

The repetition also works in your favour because it sets off the happiness of the poem and gets the emotion across to your readers. Really quite lovely.

-From the Review Marathon (check out the link in my profile)
HiddenFromYou chapter 31 . 11/28/2010
I agree that this is one of the best poems I've read from you. The first three stanzas in particular hold some very abstract (but easy to understand) imagery which really sucks the reader into the poem.

The last stanza, however, I didn't like as much, as you let a bit of that imagery slip and you speak in very plain terms.

"I've just wrote" - First off I thought this was a deliberate mistake, but I feel I should point out that it should be 'written' just in case it isn't. :)

-From the Review Marathon (check out the link in my profile)
HiddenFromYou chapter 30 . 11/28/2010
You seem to like using transitions from one subject in the first half of your poems to another one during the second. Usually, as you know, I complain about this. :P But this time I really liked it as I didn't actually notice it happening until I went back and read it a second time. It as really smooth. :)

I also like the message delivered in this poem, as it's a view I share as well. I was having a discussion just the other day that nothing we do means anything. Needless to say, I was rather alone in the opinion. :P

-From the Review Marathon (check out the link in my profile)
HiddenFromYou chapter 29 . 11/28/2010
This is a really cool poem. I enjoyed reading it because it's not the view held by the majority of poeple expressed here and it's always good to see someone going against the norm.

I didn't like the third and sixth lines because of the missed out commas, even though that seemed deliberate. For me it slowed down the flow of the poem too much, whereas everywhere else it was great.

-From the Review Marathon (check out the link in my profile)
HiddenFromYou chapter 28 . 11/28/2010
I didn't really like the fact that this poem had even more of the same (abandonment, soul, love) because I want to keep reading about new things.

I did like that in the final two lines, and the title, you spelt "alright/all right" differently, as I've never see anyone do that before within one poem. Can you tell me why you did it?

"But don't worry it's valentine's day." - There should be a comma after the word "worry".

-From the Review Marathon (check out the link in my profile)
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