|Reviews for Mother' Nature|
| The Autumn Queen chapter 1 . 5/18/2012
Why is there an apostrophe after "Mother" in your title?
"fingers tightened. "" - why is there a quotation mark there?
""Of course," her lips curled backwards, " - reads somewhat like there should be a fullstop after "of course" instead of a comma.
Now there was an interesting story. It seemed to happen a little too fast though. The image of the girl at the beginning isn't quite matching up to my vision of her in the end. Perhaps a little more time, a little more explanation...I think the dialogue was fine, except perhaps the beginning could be expanded a little more. But otherwise, interesting read.
| kneat chapter 1 . 1/21/2011
I was captivated by the banter between brother and sister, and how keenly in tune they seemed to be with each other, despite their differences. I think Mother Nature and the Water are two really interesting characters who'd be pretty hard to write about, but you did a great job.
Though my favorite part was the end hen she started forcing him to help her (because it was so dramatically written, although "screamed out, cried out, and begged her to stop" is a bit redundant- even if you just take out the and, it might sound better), I was slightly confused about what the lights are...
| Serendipitist Swan chapter 1 . 1/18/2011
Oh, never mind. The girl is a witch.
Sort of a depressing ending, compared to the prequel that is. The whole world floods, the end. Not that I don't like it, humans sort of deserve it after all they've done to the planet. Still, you've got to feel somewhat sympathetic...
| seredemia chapter 1 . 11/20/2010
I loved the interaction between brother and sister here! I love their contrasting views! You can almost feel her brother's conflict between helping his sister or just stopping her... It was really sad to read this... Their conversation about mother nature was interesting too! It makes me want to read more, but Im pretty sure this is meant to be a oneshot... I felt really sorry for the brother because, damn, his sisters one scary girl... I loved your descriptions, by the way! Really nice and clear! :D
| deefective chapter 1 . 10/22/2010
Hm, this was interesting. I like the magical feeling to all this. You did a very good job to keep this piece in the realm of all things magic and it didn't falter once throughout. I kinda liked that because I don't think this would've worked without that. I liked the creative way you addressed the ideas of Mother Nature and God. The fact that there were two genders and their respective powers/personalities was well done. It's an interesting take on the whole thing. I also liked the conversation they had about the fate of human beings. Interesting to see how you personified Mother Nature as not exactly as loving as everyone thinks, which has a slight ring of truth to it. I liked the opening but the only thing was the adjectives you used. I think you tried really hard to get the fact that she was gentle and delicate across but it was almost too much. The words delicately, slightly, gently were too repetitive. I think you would've been just fine with only one of them. But other than that, nicely done.
| HappyHowler4myLuver chapter 1 . 10/21/2010
This was so good! I loved the point of views, they were fantastic. Great work.