Reviews for The Ultimate Sin: A Sin Novel |
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![]() ![]() ![]() That was such a great story I loved it please keep writing great stories like this :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() i hope you don't stop writing because this story is amazingly good :) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Really good. At the beggining of the chapter you say "clutched" a lot. I really like your writing and you add lots of detail, but try using a thesaurus to add some more vocabulary to your story and I think you'll do just fine. :) Keep up the good work. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Really good. I can't wait to see where this is heading. A couple of ideas/tips: 1) Try doing something from Angel's POV 2) Add a little bit more details (How did Angel escape exactly?) 3) Try adding more descriptive words... Instead of using 'ran' use 'cascaded' or 'bolted' (Use your friendly Thesaurus - dispite its spelling, it's not a scary dinosaur - lol) 4) Use your senses! (Sight, Smell, Touch, Sound, etc...) Try adding more details into your paragraph. Don't forget; YOU know what you want to say, but your READER doesn't. |
![]() ![]() ![]() please write more its really good |
![]() ![]() ![]() Oh poor Angel. She is probably so scared. Is the whole book going to be from Lucifer's point of view? Okay update soon bye. |
![]() ![]() ![]() Awesome story, please update! |
![]() ![]() you know in all of history Lucifer has only killed one person, while god has killed many. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I like it. Please update soon. Okay, bye. |