Reviews for Glass Pieces
simpleplan13 chapter 9 . 11/26/2010
Review Marathon this weekend (link in my profile!)

I'm picking through the ones in this collection that I really like, including this one!

I like this one because of the metaphor here. It's really creative and powerful. It also helps me get an image of how tightly they're using their toes. The only thing is it should be grip because it's toes which is plural.
simpleplan13 chapter 5 . 11/26/2010
I really liked this piece. It was a really beautiful description. It's a wonderful metaphor. I like how "tangle shadows" are kind of negatives and then "comb" and "stars" are kind of positives. It was an interesting change.
simpleplan13 chapter 3 . 11/26/2010
This one kind of confused me. I wasn't sure exactly what this had to do with the dancers... Also I didn't get the wearing green thing.

I did like the part after the comma. It was sort of a contradiction with lean away and lovers and strangers. It was an interesting idea.
simpleplan13 chapter 2 . 11/26/2010
Review Marathon (link in my profile)!

I like this because it creates a really great image in my head. I can see the dancer actually doing this. The phrasing seemed a bit odd to me. I think it was the present tense I kind of expected at least some of it to be -ing. Anyway still a nice piece.
Kikyuu chapter 7 . 10/27/2010
Wasn't sure I would like it upon reading the first line (yeah, I know - snap judgement) but actually I really like what it became. Love the use of the word "calamity" to finish it off.
Kikyuu chapter 1 . 10/27/2010
Slightly confused by the idea of wearing glass bones, but I still enjoyed the fluidity of this piece - it felt as though the words naturally fell into place.
Kikyuu chapter 5 . 10/27/2010
I like the imagery of this one - both the second and third lines are incredibly appealing. Just one suggestion: perhaps some form of punctuation at the end of the second line?
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 10/24/2010
I like this piece a lot. It doesn't seem like a haiku in the sense that it seems complete and not at all affected by the need for syllable counts and what have you. Which is something I love in haikus.

Other than that it's a really beautiful piece especially that last line. "Glass bones" is a beautiful image.

The only thing is the fp title says Glass Pieces but the internal title says Rubric which kind of threw me off.

PS Review Game's Review Marathon this weekend (links in my profile).