|Reviews for Penumbrae|
| illusionae chapter 18 . 8/11/2012
I loved the second part of this story! Zeph was a good addition to the cast and I'm glad to see that we'll be seeing more of him. I predict that his friend Mana will also join the main cast and that him and her might end up together. It would be nice to see Zeph being all romantic and nice for once! I like Caelum because he's the complete opposite of Eidan and he's cool. I'm not sure about Celeste yet but she looks like she's kind and pretty much just your typical nice/perfect angel. And lastly I think I prefer Zeph!
| illusionae chapter 17 . 8/11/2012
As expected, Eidan and Zeph don't look like they're going to get along. I wonder if Eidan will get jealous because of how Jenna and Zeph are friendly with each other. Maybe it'll make him confess his feelings for her because it's pretty obvious that he does like her! I don't think Zeph will die... because I looked at your reviews and I saw that he was still alive in future chapters. LOL.
| illusionae chapter 16 . 8/11/2012
I remember reading this a while back and I felt an urge to read it all again today. It's nice to see Zeph and Jenna getting along better now and Zeph is really a funny character so I hope he'll stay for even more of the story! :)
| CieloRayn chapter 32 . 8/11/2012
Lol finally P it took them long enough to realize their feelings for each other ). I love romances P.
| findings chapter 43 . 8/11/2012
This chapter was amazing, Lacie is probably being controlled by something, or was. Lucan is written very well.
Jenna's going to save Eiden, yay!
| Vernelley chapter 43 . 8/10/2012
Yeah so I said I was going to stay off the computer until after homework but then I saw that you updated so there went that idea.
lkewf Lucan when he saw his mother. That was just heart breaking ;_; I'm not sure that I suspect him as the murderer since he was quite broken about it. Unless his insanity from the time in the abyss has resurfaced or something.
Lacie is a bit... less suspicious now. I don't know. She just seems more like she's unstable than evil or anything... Good characterisation on her here though.
The darkness is coming from Lucan? I suppose up until that point there wasn't really any reason to suspect him... apart from maybe what Celeste mentioned the chapter before. But I wouldn't have expected it to come from Lucan, of all people.
Ugh why are you doing this. Why. Do you want me to cry. Should I just like stop updating my story and leave the epilogue unposted as revenge.
I dunno, considering Lucan's already been able to cope with a very tragic past and managed to be polite and charming until now, I find it a tad too extreme that his personality swings from one side of the continuum to the other. I mean of course it's tragic that both his sister and mother have been killed but until now he's always seemed rather resilient... So I'm not sure if I find that very convincing, but well. I suppose it's a really extreme occurrence so it's not entirely impossible. I do find it slightly un-Lucan.
On the other hand, I want to know what really happened, because I doubt Eidan actually did kill Lacie. I suppose it wouldn't be totally unexpected for Lucan to order Eidan to be executed if he's acting under the belief that Eidan is guilty and since his mother's just died he's just about at breaking point now... I dunno. Still in two minds about Lucan.
Unless of course there is some extraneous variable like Lucan being possessed... or insane... or something. Because I still really refuse to believe he's turned evil of himself.
And maybe Ethel is involved in all of this somehow. I don't know. Wild speculation.
Hmm... Anyway. People start dying now, hmm? ;(
| CieloRayn chapter 30 . 8/10/2012
Loved this chapter ) despite the weirdness of finding out that he is supposed to marry his sisters. I loved the ending how Eidan is finally starting to open up and admit to himself that he likes Jenna P. It was a very sweet ending.
| Vivace.Assai chapter 43 . 8/10/2012
You weren't joking about updating quick... I mean, you just slapped this update right at me (not that I'm not happy to see the update... it's just I wasn't expecting it... so I guess this is like a slap of love... like what Aidou thinks Kaname gives him).
Whoa… the beginning italics are intense. But pawns makes me wonder if the speaker might be someone like Lacie (someone you would never expect to use everybody else as pawns)… or maybe one of the gods… or maybe Lucan… or maybe… I’ll come back to you with my guesses when this chapter is over.
Whoa… Again… I just have to say that you captured the moment so well in the first part with Jenna when she discovers the dead body. The way you describe the people’s paranoia by showing (and not telling). The way Jenna wants to leave the horrors behind but she is unable to focus on anything but that. The way the paragraphs suddenly become only one sentence as the other characters appear and react to the situation. All of it just blends together to create a situation of hysteria and absolute horror. You just pulled me into the scene at that moment and I felt like my heart just slowed because I was gaping at the computer and unable to process anything else but the horror.
[The fairies were hung from their necks.] That image sent chills down my spine, thank you very much. But it does quite reflect how macabre this scene is. Lacie is acting all prim, proper, and normal, while her mother just got murdered. There’s something up with this girl, and this small detail emphasizes it very well.
["We're all pawns, aren't we?" Her hand gripped the doll's hair tightly.] So Lacie thinks she is a pawn in the game of the gods. So the italicized voice is definitely not her…
["All of you need to die."] Wait… I thought only Grace and Lucan needed to die… Now it’s all of them? Oh no… this is getting intense… and tragic.
But anyways, I loved the characterization of Lacie in this chapter. We get to see her break out of her face. Lacie always acts so impassive and in control of everything – kind of like Ethel. But in this chapter, we get to see her getting crushed by the strain of everything. I like how you foreshadowed that she would crack by the end with her actions. First she confronts Eidan about his origins. Then she questions him about death. And then she proceeds to murder a poor doll. And then she starts crying. It is like she is slowly unwinding from all the pressure; she is progressively reaching her breaking point. And this breaking point occurs when she decides everybody should die. But I think this says a lot about Lacie. She knows so much about what is going to happen, and she tries to be strong and remain impassive to it. But in the end, she is just a human girl, not at all accustomed or ready for the suffering that will occur because of the curse. And her mother’s death is the tipping point for her; this also shows just how much she loves her mother. So she just cracks and loses her façade.
No… You did not just do this… You did not just make Lucan a meanie… No… But I love Lucan… I REFUSE TO ACCEPT THIS! It seems that I will have to try to find my pitchfork and torch and confront you in England for what you have just done! Yep, I will have to do that. No matter that I don’t know where you live. I’ll just keep knocking on every door until I find a building that houses a 16 year old girl named Francine Diaz (that is why you do not put your personal information online… angry fans of your stories can track you down).
But anyways… *takes several minutes to calm and relax before returning back to the review*
I do think Lucan’s reaction to what has happened is rather realistic and not OOC. I mean, your mother just died. Then you find your sister dead and a guy is covered in her blood and his sword is the weapon that killed her. What connections do you make? Yep… I would think Eidan is the killer, too, though I would have chased him through the hall with an ax (proving that I can be quite macabre when the moment comes). Plus, if Lucan was truly the nice, optimistic prince like Jenna, then this would be surprising. But it’s established in chapter 40 that he isn’t quite like Jenna in his outlook towards life. He is polite because that’s his way of surviving, his way of not losing any more of his loved ones. But now – as he states – he’s lost everything important to him. Lucan has been set-up to be not all that he appears; I presume he might have “darkness” within him, darkness that he has received from suffering so much and being forced to put up an act. So of course he would become uninhibited in his anger, and he would be willing to do anything to get his revenge. Even kill Eidan (though thinking about the law, this would actually be what would happen to Eidan in any other medieval/fantasy kingdom).
It is kind of sad to see the shattered friendship between Jenna and Lucan but it’s clear that the two of them have different priorities. I think this is a really sad way for Lucan to become a “problem” though – I have a feeling that he too is just a pawn in the coming events. But now I’m curious… the ending italicized section mentions that it takes “you to cause a tragedy” – I think this is referring to Lucan… so I guess that means Lucan isn’t the italicized speaker. Maybe it IS Jenna after all the coming events crack her?
Anyways, this was another exciting chapter. So my next theory is that Jenna will try to figure out a way to save Eidan… but she will fail or something even worse happens. Meanwhile, Zeph and Mana discover that the Forest is dying because of the curse. And somehow, everything leads to the prologue where Jenna and Eidan are being burned (or at least what who we assume are Jenna and Eidan). Maybe Jenna will get captured because she tries to help Eidan and the two are about to burned but something else happens… I can’t help but shake the feeling that Lucan and Grace will be the ones burned though because they are meant to die to break the curse.
As for Lacie… I think she might have tried to attack Eidan and something happened that ended up with her dead. Or maybe somebody was controlling her to start the problems…
Overall, intriguing chapter! Can’t wait for the next update!
| Writing In Ink Forever chapter 43 . 8/10/2012
Wow. This was a pretty intense Chapter!
Uhm... She was sick too? I bet Lucan killed the Queen. I loved what your doing with the characters and the scenes. Amazing!
Aww. Lacie was My favorite character too! Or one of them.
Man. Lucan just turned evil. Or he's always been evil. *shudders* poor Eidan. :(
| levisama chapter 40 . 8/10/2012
Big respect to Lucan after reading this chapter. It's weird that his past is very similar to Eidan's but it does prove that they are really clones after all. I guess that Lacie took Lucan's curse too just like Ethel did with Eidan? And maybe that was why Eidan was sensitive to sunlight at the start of the story and Lucan was to the moon? Again, they're similar with that but I don't know why they stopped being sensitive to those. Maybe it's because they met each other in that chapter? I don't know because it was a LOT of chapters back and I have to keep checking the earlier chapters, so I still have a lot of questions with this story.
Although I really hope that Lucan doesn't end up dying. He looks like he's been through a lot and it'll be really tragic if he does die in the end. :(
I also noticed something with the title in this story. I was checking the earlier chapters for Eidan's past and I noticed that the chapter where he reveals his past to Jenna has a similar title to this one here. Eidan's was "Of Starless Nights and Light Eyes" and Lucan's is "Of Sleepless Nights and Sore Eyes". I think that's really neat and I love it!
I will read some more soon!
| levisama chapter 39 . 8/10/2012
They had better not be dead. I doubt Eidan and Jenna are really dead but that scene was still very brutal and painful to read. You did well with writing the fight scene by the way and I liked how fast paced it was but I still wasn't confused with what was going on. I hope Morgan and Gwen aren't betraying them because it doesn't make sense that Ethel would send Jenna and Eidan to Farria if they were capable of this.
| thenutrunningthenuthouse chapter 43 . 8/10/2012
Hey! Wow, when you said quick, you meant quick! Oh, and I figured out to how review as I read, so just so you know, I’m doing that.
[-in which the problem begins-] – BEGINS? What have the other 41 chapters been?
Wow, this initial seen is so crazy! It’s like I can feel Jenna’s emotions and it’s like I’m suffocating through her panic attack. Man, that’s some good writing, my friend.
Yeah, this first scene was creepy. I’m not, unable to articulate myself. Well, that could be from the heat, but I’m gonna blame your story and how intense it’s getting.
Lacie’s freaking me out. Just let me say that. And ‘Prince Eidan’? Well, this is strange sounding.
[What would Caelum do?
He would attack Lacie, no doubt.] – Caelum sure gets a bad rep, even if he…well, would do those things…
["All of you need to die."] – Lacie, all the readers appreciate your honesty, but you must sound like a creepy horror movie child to all of them. O_O
Poor Lucan. I mean, just this scene with him sobbing into Jenna in particular really shows how messed up he is by this (not that I blame him). Oh God, and then he’s gonna have to die to break the curse. Now, I can handle Grace dying – she’s not my favorite – but Lucan? Noooooo.
Lacie’s dead too? :O Oh my God, it’s Lucan’s family’s bloodbath? And Eidan? Dude, nooo, don’t set yourself up like that! This story is getting crazy. Yup, it is “beginning”
Well, now I understand why you said some chapters back that Lucan was going to suffer. Jeeez. Gotta say, I’m glad Jenna’s standing by Eidan. I mean, I didn’t exactly expect different, but it’s good to see some friendship/relationship loyalty. Oh God, is Jenna gonna have to kill Lucan? Was that mentioned somewhere, cause now I can finally see it happening.
No worries about Lucan – he’s had a bad day, and is in no way OOC. As for Lacie…nope, she just confuses me.
Nice job and can't wait for you to update!
| thenutrunningthenuthouse chapter 42 . 8/10/2012
[-in which jenna is a pervert-] - this one ranks second to the - in which zeph has no friends - subheading XD
I find it hilarious how these two gods are just casually eating breakfast while everyone is talking. Like, dudes, there's two gods sitting at your table! Hah, I love this story so much!
["Don't do anything stupid, Caelum," Eidan warned.] – with Eidan telling Caelum that? Haha, oh this may be my favorite section of the story.
Don’t massacre everyone? Jeez, so much for don’t get lost. XD
Jenna has brothers? Well, this is new. Nice job putting the characterization of Jenna like this later in the story. It’s fresh, and it truly shows how much she cares about them.
HAH, oh that baby scene. Don’t worry, Jenna, most people do that! Then with the tea, oh man, I burn my tongue so much on hot stuff…I know her pain. She should’ve spit it out.
…Okay Grace, that’s cool. Let’s just curse some places. Is she gonna go off the deep end, or did she already do that?
Okay, so I think the italics is Gwen. Wow, this story is so epic. Like, this is legit the first epic fantasy I've ever read, and it's incredible! You're such a talented writer, and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Oh, and here's me awkwardly bringing LOK into this...I love Asami too! When the finale rolled around and I was crying and angry, Asami's parts and Iroh's were the only ones I fully happy with, and Asami's deff my favorite member of Team Avatar 2.0 (well, Lin and Tenzin too, but they're not exactly on the team...).
| Vernelley chapter 42 . 8/9/2012
Login is doing strange things for me... :(
Haha I find Zeph's reaction just... very Zeph. He's really better off not screwing his brain around trying to understand it all XD And wow. It really is strange to think so much time has passed. And the main cast has gotten so close and aah my feels ;_;
SOBS WHY MUST LUCAN BE THE SUSPICIOUS ONE. I THINK THIS IS THE THIRD REVIEW IN A ROW I'VE MENTIONED IT BUT STILL. Because I don't think he's shifty... Maybe it's Lacie... Or maybe she's staying away from him because he is weird. But nooo. He can't be. TT_TT
Okay I literally choked on air when Jenna imagined Lucan in the bath. And then her future babies with Eidan and then the two of them LOL okay not even going there. And it's just even more awkward that she thinks of this while she's there with Lucan. And daflkdfa Lucan is just so sweet and he still obviously likes Jenna and aahh.
Uhuhuhu I'm really glad Grace and Eidan have resolved their tension. Of course Eidan hasn't really been around for Grace since he ran off for years but it's nice to see that he still genuinely cares about her and isn't there just because he has to be. And when he told Grace to live her life... SOBS. MY FEELS ARE CRITICALLY WOUNDED. Even though Grace hasn't exactly been nice, she's definitely still a sympathetic character, and it would just be really sad if she died.
Oh and I don't remember if it was ever mentioned before that Eidan's mother was dying... But in any case I see that Lucan's situation is a reflection of that as well.
Okay Lacie is definitely hiding something so I'm suspecting her more than Lucan... I'm wondering if she has a motive like Ethel... But it's all just wild speculation at the moment.
LE GASP LUCAN'S MUMMY NOOO. Very interesting plot twist here, I wasn't expecting that; I mean if she died then I would've expected it to be from her illness, not by murder or intrigue. So interesting.
And anyway... Since people are supposed to be dying soon... Hmm... I don't know... Of course I want to know what happens but I don't want people to die. Nooo.
| Vivace.Assai chapter 42 . 8/9/2012
- spoiler warnings for any new reader deciding to look at the reviews -
[in which jenna is a pervert] O_O
Do I even want to know? *thinks for a minute* Oh yes, I really do! Okay, on with the chapter!
Okay. So Zeph has decided to remain confused about the whole curse story so he can remain calm about everything? What a classic Zeph thing to do… I’m surprised that I’m even surprised that he has decided to do that. But I have to agree with Zeph’s reasoning. If I found out that I was going to die because of a centuries old curse, I would try not to understand. You know what they say – ignorance is bliss. But this does say a lot about Zeph’s character. He’s one of those people who take a more “playful” outlook on life, even though he’s probably really deep and profound. You think he is dense and a complete idiot but he’s actually quite intelligent. When he notices things, he really notices them. And this part of his character is best emphasized by his comment that things would be different if he didn’t kidnap Jenna.
[Once they were old enough, they were betrothed to neighbouring countries, forced to leave home and live their lives in a foreign place.] Whoa.. wait. So if her brothers were forced to neighboring countries, who would become the ruler when her parents died? Would that be Jenna then? Because I thought she was supposed to marry into Lucan’s family. I’m just really curious about the way the Light Kingdom works in terms of succession…
Anyways, I kind of just read everything in one go without taking notes after the succession comment so… cue “kicking brain into overdrive as I try to recall everything that I wanted to say”:
But I think this look into family was quite nice. Throughout this adventure, the characters are thrown into so much chaos and hardship that it is difficult to focus on family. However, family is a part of these characters’ lives in some way, so it’s nice that we have a little bit of family reflections before the storm comes raging in. And the families say a lot about the characters. So clearly Jenna has never been close to her siblings because she’s been closer to Eidan. This shows how important Eidan is to her; her life revolves around him (partly). As for Eidan, despite having many reasons to dislike Grace, he can’t hurt her because he still loves her. He even goes to Marniolle because he (partly) wants to check on her. He is bound to his family. Grace’s views on Eidan show that she feels neglected by him; obviously there are insecurities within her that causes her to think Eidan only cares for Jenna. And as for Lucan and Lacie, clearly there are secrets between the two, but they love and care for one another. This reflects how much Lucan and Lacie need each other for support.
Jenna is DEFINITELY thinking very perverted thoughts. It was clear the moment she considered what would happen if she walked in on Lucan taking a bath. It only went wrong from there. First babies… and then… um… Right then… let’s just leave it at this: Jenna is a pervert. Good. The chapter title was very accurate.
When Grace started getting all emotional, I felt so sad for her. She must have thought that Eidan was coming to kill her! The DRAMATIC IRONY works once again. It’s just so heartbreaking since I know that Grace is going to die to break the curse but Eidan doesn’t know at all. And when he told her to live her life despite the curse, that was really one of the saddest moments ever. So yeah, I LOVE your dramatic irony, since it keeps things really intense and tragic. But I think you described Grace’s distress just beautifully – I could just imagine her at her breaking point, so it made the scene even more emotional. I feel so sad for Grace; she’s become such a sympathetic character.
And now the Queen has been murdered. *GASP* Interesting plot twist… I find it curious that it happens just as Jenna and Eidan arrive. Is this all connected? Who decided to kill the Queen? And why? How does it relate to the curse? The next few chapters will no doubt be intense! And the updates will be quick too! Yay! Hopefully I won’t be flooded with senior year duties and homework…
By the way, wouldn’t it be funny if the italics were now Lucan or one of the main characters? Somebody who seems positive and kind. Somebody who you wouldn’t imagine such negative words to come from… It would be quite sad to learn that the italics come from Jenna… because then that would signify how much the curse and the coming events will change her. But anyways, expect guesses from me for the next few coming chapters!