|Reviews for No Where|
| dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 1/14/2011
I actually went to the RH forum and took a look at what the prompt was. "Your deepest fear"-interesting take on that. It's not a singular thing, like spiders or dying, but a lot more a feeling and general idea. I love it. The laugh is also an interesting take on it, too. It can be taken as either the strength to overcome it or just cracking under the weight of it.
The first time I read this through, I didn't think this was quite up to your usual standard. The lines aren't as tight. Your wording isn't as strong and each word or phrase doesn't pack as much punch. At first I didn't like this, but it seems to go along with your idea-it's as if the fear is making you shaky even in your writing. I liked it quite a bit after thinking about it like that.
Some of my favorite lines:
[and spilling all over the place.]
[And I hiccup philosophical vomit]
[another shadow for my wall.]
Sparkles From the Review Marathon (link in profile)
| Oracle of Destiny chapter 1 . 12/15/2010
I really enjoyed this a lot. I can tell you are such a talented writer and I do admire that about you.
One of the things I liked about this is that there is some good and vivid description, and I feel that it's important for them to be included in the narrative device. The erotic imagery was well spot on and the language was appropropiate to the subject being covered.
Another thing that I really liked was the scene where the tone actually changes - when they were making love with one another to the part when she disappears. I think it's awesome because it's kinda like a dream as in you wake up during the best bit and you can hardly remember it for the rest of the day.
I can't find anything that I disliked about this because there's nothing exactly wrong with it if truth be told. The only aspect that can be improved is it could be a bit better (if it's a poem rather than prose fiction) is to use shorter lines .e.g break down the lines because poetry is usually like that. It's up to you personally if you want to take up on my suggestion, but I find it very interesting that there are elements of prose and poetry in this piece :)
| dreamingotwilight chapter 1 . 11/1/2010
I love how I felt you were hypnotizing me! I felt like I was right there, feeling everything you/they felt.
I didn't like that I thought they were having sex the whole time. Well, I liked that, but I didn't like that I couldn't tell if they were actually doing it or not. More hints please, maybe?
| seredemia chapter 1 . 11/1/2010
What's soteriophobia..? Hang on, I'll google it.
AAH. That explains why the girl vanishes. I think. It's like he's expecting her to be just a shadow and leave him..? I think. That's my guess anyway. Like he thinks she'll just vanish away and leave him all alone... Yeah, I'm pretty sure that could be it. Anyway, I loved this. You really do have a talent for description and such! I just love the way you form sentences - THEY SOUND SO BLOODY POETIC. *tears of joy*
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 10/29/2010
I like the hazy dream-like quality of this piece. The language is simpler than what you normally use but strung together to create quite a theme of emotions. So many lines I liked, especially 'the part that keeps me gasping for air in between the giggles' and so forth.
Didn't expect anything less brilliant from you. Keep it up :)