|Reviews for M, I'll say,|
| Paper Imagination chapter 1 . 11/4/2010
This seemed very real, like the voice of someone who was thinking-some aloud, and some in their head-an internal monologue, and I LIKED it.
Haven't we all experienced that paranoia? That "oh I want to post my story's link on my facebook page..but then..they'll read it..and maybe they'll read my other works too..and OH NO OH NO NO NO!" SO REAL. Well put.
The only addition I would love to see, is if you put some rhyme in there in the line about poetry. "I write poetry." That's a can of worms for a particularly witty line.
But overall..I liked the piece. GOOD JOB!
| Delicate chapter 1 . 11/4/2010
"I imagine that she'll understand everything I ever thought
while writing, and some things I didn't, and that she'll see me"
so exact. this is why i don't share anything of mine with
anyone. it's terrifying. this is wonderful.
| sunstruck chapter 1 . 11/4/2010
Wow, I love how conversational, even confessional your tone is, and how I can tell a part of you really, really wants to tell her about your poetry, but another part of you is so afraid to. I love the parallelism at the end, with the "she", "he", "me". And I love how you say she will instantly know who "she" is while you, the writer, don't even know who she is. That rings so true to me.
I can genuinely relate to your fear of showing someone a side of yourself they've never seen, but I think that your poem just does such a fantastic job of putting the reader into your shoes that even a non-writer could relate. I guess my only criticism is that the second half of the poem seems much more interesting to me than the first. It's such a good climax, tense and dramatic (and cathartic?) that I think it deserves more of a build up.
Keep writing! :)
| XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX chapter 1 . 11/1/2010
it's really nice.
i'm sort of...scared (?) that a select few people i know will read what i write...
| YasuRan chapter 1 . 11/1/2010
This strikes me personally, because very few people know I write, let alone publish things here. I've often wondered they'd think too. I love how you talk about 'she' and 'him', those nameable characters that are pretty much based on some unaware acquaintance of the author who doesn't know how inspiring they are.
For some reason, I like the part where you thought your stomach would jump ship. I just thought that was some creative phrasing there.
All in all, really relatable and well-written. Thanks for posting this.