|Reviews for Hyper Fighting Machine Marmalade!|
| TheDeletedEdge chapter 4 . 12/10/2013
Y'know, I was wondering why my life felt so empty. It was because I forgot to finish reading this steaming pile of adorabawesomeness!
WAIT WHAAAAT?! Aniki is Reginald Darcy? That means I now have a double mancrush on his manliness and bishiness! Hnnnnngh!
Y'know, the genre savvy villains were actually something interesting. Out of the norm, really. I never see stuff like that nowadays. They took down Aniki with a well thought-out plan.
Actually, releasing the story from its clutches of parody, you can grasp a greater meaning behind the struggles. In fact, out of context, Moeko seems to be the one who's being pointed at as the villain, instead of the Antilovers. Her father built giant robots of mass destruction for no reason, and she's the one opposing the people setting out to stop war.
Simply put, it's more like she's stopping them from disarming nukes.
Other than that, I still love the lampshading on the absurdity of mecha anime cliches. So much fun. Especially Moeko not being able to tell Aniki apart from Reginald just from a pair of sunglasses, that's a shout out to Char and Quattro right?
| Master Gray Wolf chapter 4 . 8/20/2013
[ "You don't need to do this, Amy-chan!" she stated, rather loudly, and even assertively, but still shyly ]
[ Even though she disliked Aniki as a person, it would be a mockery of her station as a Koukou Academy Student Council Homeroom Representative to just stand back and allow someone to die, especially a fighter for freedom such as Jam's pilot. ]
I try to read this story like I was listening to a gag anime, like the narrator of Haruhi (ie: Kyon) or maybe New Mazinger or Pizza Cats, but I just turn out exhausted. I'm just tired from reading all of this content, tons of adverbs and tense changes. And its bombastic.
I mentioned this before in previous review, saying that this was my only major problem, and maybe I shouldn't say it again. Or it's just me. Maybe I'm just a poor reader who doesn't have a lot of stamina. I changed the font size and width to see if it'd help me. If you read HYPER-MAR on another day, you may have a change of thought about your own work. But this is the third chapter, and you may disagree with me saying that there is a lot of redundancy.
If I know one thing about mecha, it's that narrators are such spoilers. Especially in gundam. Stop telling me everything! "But" this and "wait for later" that. .
This chapter did have a good twist to it. Character-wise, Moeko is annoying. The narration describing Moeko and her unreliable thoughts are even more annoying. Not your fault, it's just how you made the character. She has one toe in the battle, but always recedes. "As you may know reader is that people are getting hurt, and I don't like IT AT ALL. It makes me angry! But, I'll just enter a corner." Even when it looks like she's sympathizing and hints that she wants to do something, because the narrative tells me that's what she's thinking, she never exerts herself.
OF course, that changed in this chapter. I'm talking about in most cases. [She wondered about this behavior, considering that it was so out of character for her friend.] Correct, Amy. The other characters are good. Each one has a flavor, including Moeko.
Hey, for a passionate story, have a passionate review.
| Master Gray Wolf chapter 3 . 8/20/2013
"Hyper-Mar" is a nice story that gathers in and teases many common anime/manga elements (and ethnic stereotypes), but I get MEGO and fatigue from reading so much. Even though, redundancy (or it seems to be) fits fine in some parts. Maybe I'm just lazy and I'm complaining for no reason. I do prefer cutting.
That's really the only problem I have with HYPER-MAR is the drawn out exposition, but I guess I'm a weak reader. What bugged me was "distinguish themselves from Americans". I mean, why is that there? If they are British, or Japanese-love British? Also, "Amy stopped sweating" or the phrases after that.
obtain friends whose names begin with different letters of the alphabet.
Maybe you mean "the same letter of the alphabet (Amy and Aniki) "?
In the middle of reading, I was suddenly reminded of NADESICO, cept Guy/Jiro couldn't pilot because of his injury (he was late too?) and Agito got pushed into riding the Aestivalis. Not entirely the same as here; actually, the Aniki/Moeko scene happened in Cyber Formula tv series - the car was set for a professional racer, but ended up programming the MC as the driver out of an emergency situation.
Fortunately, Aniki was a really good sport about it. Maybe Aniki is Jiro. All I see is the Go Nagai hair.
That's all I can say. GJ.
| TheDeletedEdge chapter 3 . 6/1/2013
Aniki is man. He pilots Jam, as in JAM Project! We all need manly pilots! Better not kill him off!
Lampshading. Lampshading everywhere. From the typical animu sweat drop to the NGE pain synchronization (Why do you even need something like that?!) I love this story.
| TheDeletedEdge chapter 2 . 6/1/2013
"The chances for you winning is absolutely... ZEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Smelling some NGE, what with the way Moeko no papa is treating her. Either way, I'm enjoying every letter of this, especially all the lampshading on the mecha genre.
| TheDeletedEdge chapter 1 . 5/15/2012
... I was going to write something like this. How are you beating me to the punch Brendan?
Okay, let me start this review with... You were drunk, high and mental when you wrote this weren't you? This story is so full of crack I might get high just reading it.
And. I. LOVE. IT.
Everything I love about magical girls and everything I love about mecha in one story! Dear God! This is so awesome! TOO AWESOME!
Marmalade should start with a G. All the great mecha shows start or at least have a G in it. So if I were you, I'd call it... GARmalade! But seriously, why Marmalade?
Moeko's name literally translates to Cute Girl.
This is on my favourites. You are going to write it till the end. NO. EXCEPTIONS.
| Master Gray Wolf chapter 2 . 11/17/2010
Sheesh, what a klutz.
| Master Gray Wolf chapter 1 . 11/17/2010
Antilovers? Lol! Vs Moe!
Not a big fan of moe, but this is a cute and funny parody.
I was going to ask if this was a kind of satire (?) to, what do they call it, "Wapanese" characters that you probably see a lot before doing this story, considering the main character and the explanation of the school.
| Godlybunny chapter 2 . 11/4/2010
Off to a good start. This chapter is interesting and it grabs my attention, especially with the dry humor and over exaggeration of the qualities of the characters. And yes, I will stay tuned.
| Slaaty chapter 1 . 11/1/2010
This is hilarious! I'm very anxious to know how her first battle goes.
You really exaggerated the "frail anime girl who's a loner etc." but as this IS a parody, I find it fitting (and very, very amusing).
My only suggestion is in this sentence:
"Little did she know that she would soon be thrust into a world of action and adventures of epic scale, a world of high-tech mecha battles, dramatic high-school romance, more action to keep up interest, exposition explaining the backstory behind all this, and last but not least, comedy to prevent the situation from becoming too depressing."
Shorten it, fix it up, I don't know - but it sounds rather awkward.
I cannot wait for more! Good luck with NaNoWriMo :)
| Godlybunny chapter 1 . 11/1/2010
Fellow NaNoWriMo writer! Lol needed to say that. the story is really funny with you piking fun at manga and anime. It adds a sense of humor and makes the story interesting. Not to say that the story is boring. It's got a good plot going and I like it!
Hopefully I'll get mine posted soon. If you could review that, that would be great! Keep writing!