Reviews for Moonlight
Slytherclaw chapter 57 . 3/22
Love your writing ! I'm in the middle of spellwrought, so good!
Agreed chapter 57 . 3/17
Yes, I disagree with JW 100% as well. Splink's comment was exactly everything I was thinking. This story is amazing, so well written, and will be always be one of my favorites. This is your story, and you did thing the way you wanted. :)
Splink chapter 57 . 3/17
I disagree 100% with the last commenter (JW). The beauty of writing and creating your own world is that – THIS WORLD BELONGS TO THE CREATOR OF IT, AND THEY CAN DISH IT ANY WAY THEY LIKE.
Yes that night is important but it’s not the foundation of their relationship. The times they spent talking and studying in the library, the moments of Charias teaching Izeri how to swim, Izeri standing up for Charias despite the comments of others (even his professor), Izeri willingness to give up his family for Charias and not regretting fighting for Charias honor, the way Izeri friends were willing to hang around Charias only because it made Izeri happy, Charias knowing that Izeri can’t imagine marrying anybody but him. Those moments are the foundation they have built their relationship on.
Charias is not dumb, stupid, testosterone driven or so fickle to make a statement ending their relationship without having all the FACTS, as the previous commenter thought he should have(which is so cliché and predictable) . He is smart and he has lived a life of isolation and observation of others. From what he has observed and experienced with Izeri he knows Izeri loves him truly. I can see him being more confused than anything. Yes, definitely troubled and hurt but seriously confused.
The scene played out well. Charias so surprised at seeing the shival that he reacted. Izeri/shival ran away only to be discovered by Charis soon after apologizing. * Perfect. * What I see is Charias so stunned at Izeri turning into a shival right in front of him and even more stunned and a little disgusted at himself because of his reaction KNOWING that the shival was actually Izeri the person he loves, but still his first reaction was REAL FEAR the same way people react toward his Shark form. Charias understands people living in fear of another being and the hatred that comes along with that sometimes.
In the time between Izeri/shival running away and Charias finding him. I imagine Charias reflecting on the times he heard Izeri talking to himself, Izeri being out later than normal or returning to the room in the wee hours of the morning, the almost hints Izeri through out there and Charias own comments, such as “The Mother would never create such an abomination, but if she did I would still run” Charias knows what kind of person Izeri is. When it comes to someone Izeri loves, Izeri is surprisingly strong, bold and brave, but when it comes to himself and his internal fears he can be cowardly.
We just need to wait for Charias perspective of this situation –THE SHARKS STORY (hint hint) if the author chooses to give us one.
And as far as the snowfall, we already know about it. Don’t beat a dead horse. Emotional distress, weird weather, when Izeri gets better it stops. (Seriously what more do you need).
Professor Dark, we all know he is up to no good. But why must so much drama happen in one night. Maybe he approaches Izeri at a later date and says something weird and because Izeri is now listening to his shival more, he tells Charias about the weird feeling the Professor gives his Shival and the two of them discover that Professor Dark is not only manufacturing a drug from that plant in the green house but he has Moonsinger locked in the basesment/celler/closet /someplace small and dark feeding off his energy, Izeri and Charias and the Drac lady save the day and rescue Moonsinger , the Drac makes them keep quite about the situation while they handle Professor Dark and the Tall Elk guy crys and tells Charias that he is forever indebted to him for saving Moonsinger (because they Elk is secretly madly in love with Moonsinger) . See I just made up my own side story. Just because I feel this way does not mean its gonna happen. Its called life.
Maybe in the next chapter we will see them talk, lay it all out on the table. That what they need to do.
Moonlight, is a stand alone story. Just another perspective. And as far as the comment that JW made…
In a sense the history of this time period already exists. Moonlight is more of an historical novel due to Broken Wings than an original fantasy. This is especially true with the events presented now. Understanding why known events from Broken Wings turned out as they did is the most intriguing part of this story. These events should be worthy of the reading in honor of those who have read Broken Wings and the characters themselves, all of them.
What are you talking about, I have something to say..I KNOW YOUR MAD JAKE, BUT YOU GOT TO GET YOUR OWN – yes write you own story, im sure it would be perfect, honorable and would sell a lot of books when you choose to publish it. Oh and Best wishes on YOUR OWN story.
JW chapter 57 . 3/17
I must confess a certain disappointment with this chapter. It is discussing events that are central to both Broken Wings and Moonlight. This night is not only a night of transformation for Charias and Izeri but also Maika and Jakil. Reading the above suggests that this chapter(s) and the night's events should read more as a phantasmagoria. Something of a mixture of Shakespeare's Tempest and A Midsummer Night's Dream.

Between sundown and dawn the fundamental relationship between Charias and Izeri should be resolved. But not too quickly. You have provided all the elements. Izeri has fear of discovery and loss of love to drive him. Charias has infatuation, love, pride, anger and physical prowess to drive his behavior. He is not a man to take being lied to or being made a fool of lightly. There is a mysterious individual, a villain most likely, in the form of professor Dark to provide catalysis.

The chapter begins wonderfully with the reconstruction of the scene of the party in Broken Wings. The night continues with a scene near the ocean which could be wonderfully Gothic. However, the encounter and revelation of Izeri's secret should be much more intense. Izeri should discover that Charias is disgusted, mortified, furious, and full of a sense of betrayal. Moreover, it is Izeri's fault this has happened due to his evasion of the truth. He is responsible for making his greatest fears real. This should not leave any ambiguity. Charias should say he wants nothing more to do with Izeri. At this moment his relation with Charias is over and his own responsibility should be palpable.

He flees in anguish and regret to find professor Dark and escape from Allyrawood. Departure is now imperative. He finds Dark and both set out for the old mansion, lets say. Izeri discovers that Dark's intentions are not as understood and a struggle occurs which attracts Charias against his better judgement. Both are captured and spend the rest of the night escaping from Dark during which they are reconciled. Morning brings the two lovers back to the school intending to do something about Dark. This is postponed with the discovery that Jakil is in a coma and Maika is overturning the Faerie social structure. Allyrawood is in an uproar.

As it is the central tension-fear of love's loss-is resolved too quickly. Charias should not be so willing to make up given the importance of this event to the story. It saps tension and interest. It is true the enigma of Dark is still to be resolved or partially resolved to drive further events of this night but a great deal of dramatic interest has been thrown away. There should be more catharsis; perhaps along the lines suggested but however done it should have been done and be finished by the end of the night.

The issue of the snowfall really needs more attention and description. Presumably this is caused by Izeri but receives scant attention. It is a moment of wonder and some worry in Broken Wings. It needs more development as an ornament to the moment. Why snow and why now? What emotional reality does the snow represent? For any who have read Broken Wings it is important.

I suspect that someday you will want to publish Broken Wings and Moonlight as a series as you have Magebound and Spellwrought. The events of this night and the next two weeks can, properly handled, bind the books together and increase overall interest.

In a sense the history of this time period already exists. Moonlight is more of an historical novel due to Broken Wings than an original fantasy. This is especially true with the events presented now. Understanding why known events from Broken Wings turned out as they did is the most intriguing part of this story. These events should be worthy of the reading in honor of those who have read Broken Wings and the characters themselves, all of them.

Best wishes for the rest of the story
chibikodo chapter 57 . 3/16
Oh Izeri don't cry anymore. You are making my heart hurt. But at least Charias understands his fear now.

Also, hah Izeri told Maika to be careful with Jak.. How close Maika came to losing it all...
issa chapter 57 . 3/16
ohhh thank goodness it finally happened! woof! Personally I love that you ended it this way, just because I wouldn't have been able to sit still waiting for the next one. I would have been so devastated for Izeri -_-
utterlyhomo chapter 57 . 3/16
oh my god that was extremely intense! i have been an awesome ride with izeri and charias and i love these two characters so much. i also hope before you end the story, you give them a love scene! ;D
omg chapter 1 . 3/16
GenyJ101 chapter 57 . 3/16
good god. that was an excellent. thanks so much the suspense of Charias not knowing was killing me. can't wait till then next chapter. :)
C.Y. Hawkins chapter 57 . 3/16
Aww Maika is just never in the spirit of things is he? xD
Nuuu all the feels in this chapter ;-;
Is there a link to your books on itunes? Because I have difficulty finding them and I'm not sure if I'm searching for the wrong thing or if they're not available in Australia ;-;
Errant chapter 57 . 3/16
I think you should have gone with your instincts. Immediately as I read the last paragraph, I thought 'this should have ended 2 paragraphs ago.'

Seriously, if you do ever go back and rework this, make this chapter the one that ends with total despair and a cliffhanger, and change the others so they don't (if you think there are too many). It's such an important point in the story; you need to let the moment linger, rather than giving resolution/relief so easily.
Chevix chapter 57 . 3/16
Is it out yet? is it out yet? is it out yet? Shirt it was up five hours ago! *reads franticly* *reaches end of chapter* what wait no its not over yet where's the rest! *cries*

Man and I even know that they stay together and he doesn't leave or at least comes back really fast if he did and I'm still sitting on edge with this chapter. Kudos
morningstorm70 chapter 57 . 3/16
Thank you so much for the extra paragraphs I am sooo happy you allowed charias to accept izeri without having to wait two weeks for it
dulcee chapter 57 . 3/15
I'm just going to sit here and scream incoherent noises. This chap stabbed me in the heart with the angst knife. Eep. I am really glad that Charias tried to comfort Izeri at the very end though. For a second I panicked thinking that you would leave a cliffhanger with Izeri running off to god knows where and Charias too afraid to confront him...

I'm so happy that Spellwrought is out! I've waiting for this for quite a while. I'm going to buy a copy ASAP 3 Then I'll pore over the book every chance I can, haha.
michelle chapter 56 . 3/2
that was heart breaking i hope izeri tells charias soon!
527 | Page 1 2 3 4 11 .. Last Next »