|Reviews for Artificial Network Intelligence|
| Laura B B chapter 2 . 11/29/2010
This is obviously VERY Sci Fi, and i love it.
Lots of big words, it reads like a Star Wars book. Of course it is only the beginning.
Because the most useful reviews for a writer are always the critical ones, I'll give you some criticism.
First of all, I like how it starts out fast, you are being told what there is to be told, flat out. There is no long introducion or anything.
Then i like how you jump into first person, i LOVE first person writing, thats how i write also. And just the flat out way that things are stated, almost like i am listening to a recording, it is like you are reading the protagonost's mind. I'm already getting a feel that this is a really smart guy, a critical thinker.
I guess the only thing i did notice it that at first it was a little readers get so caught up in the interesting words and phrases like "Artificial Network Intelligence" or "Arecibo radio telescope" that they might miss out on what exactly those things are used for, or how they are needed for the story. You can't tell what's important and what's not.
And maybe one other thing was i got a little confused with punctuation. I think i might have found a few run on sentances and stuff, but that's all.
I hope what i have to say is useful, and i think you should definately go further with this story if you haven't already. Sorry for all my spelling mistakes.
- Laura B B