|Reviews for innocence in a plum|
| Silent Typer chapter 1 . 3/15/2012
I love this poem.
| Hiwiwy chapter 1 . 5/18/2011
I just keep coming back to this poem. I love it so so much 3
The imagery is simply beautiful.
| Secret Santa chapter 1 . 12/24/2010
This is a review from the Review Game's secret santa courtesy of dragonflydreamer... sorry for the delay!
The word destructive seemed odd to me. I feel like it should be destructively and not have the commas around it. I just think that would flow better.
I did like the formatting I thought the italics and parenthesis were really great and added to the piece without being overdone.
The third stanza was also great. It was a really powerful description. I could visually see those colors.
Nice ending too... kind of bittersweet and I think it ties the piece together well.
| dragonflydreamer chapter 1 . 11/27/2010
Interesting combination of images. I love the recurring image of wind or air, but then the images of fruit are great, too. I'd never think to combine the two, but you do it well.
[i see us, different,
in another world.] I love this line. It's a great turning point in the poem and gives your readers an idea of what your real meaning is.
[but the air is filled with graying dandelions] I'm not sure why, but that's my favorite image.
Not much by way of suggestions for this. There was just one line
[the days are still dipped
with lemons like how it should be,]
where the literal image didn't work very well. Dipped with lemon juice, maybe? Your way definitely flows better, but it was odd to have an unrealistic image right at the beginning.
I'm surprised I haven't come across your works before. I'll definitely be reading more of them!
~Sparkles from the Review Marathon (link in profile)
| Little girl Big world chapter 1 . 11/24/2010
The imagery in this is just brilliant. I love how you added fruit to this to describe certain elements like the strawberry sunset. Great use of italics and spacing on the word blowing. & the last two lines are just the perfect wrap up to this piece. Wonderful :)
| Aurora Corona chapter 1 . 11/24/2010
Beautiful imagery as always, steph.
I miss you so much! COME BACK NOW.
Anyway, i love this, i lav 3498274 you and you write the best poetry EVAR.
I especially love how you include colors and stuff. It feels like i'm seeing a rainbow, oddly :P
| writingpistachio chapter 1 . 11/22/2010
M, I do like this quite a bit. Not to mention it makes me think of sweets. :3
I love the imagery of destructive strawberry sunsets. That just rings really, really well in my head. Love, love love.
"maybe plums have always been
this crimson against the snow." That just killed me. In a good way, of course.
I'm really terrible at ending reviews so I'll just cut this off abruptly.
| lymli chapter 1 . 11/9/2010
I lav the imagery, especially the lemon and dandelions part.