|Reviews for Tathwem Wonders|
| Guest chapter 1 . 8/23/2011
My friend was in this situation and this is the answer. The girl only sees all the good things about him. She doesn't think about how much of a jerk he is because she doesn't want to believe it. When she does realize he is a jerk, she doesn't want to lose him because of all the great things he did with her.
Also, she still loves him knows the best thing to do is break up, but she knows that if she breaks up with him, she will be sad.
Another reason is that they are dating someone popular and don't want to be considered a loser for breaking up with him.
| Fragile Things chapter 2 . 7/12/2011
Mmmmmm maybe my response is a little late lol XP
| Fragile Things chapter 1 . 7/12/2011
in response to chapter 1, it makes me kind of sad because i realize its true. ive been in this situation a couple times but not to extreme extents. what i think is the problem, why most guys can't understand, is the emotions are so situational and individual to each person. some girls cant help who they love, theyre desparate or theyre too insecure to think they deserve more, they subconsciously seek out a difficult relationship, they like the attention, they think they can "save" him or inside they may be just as bad. all u can do is try and talk with them personally with the problem or emotional handicap they are dealing with. still, it could be situations some girls need to deal with and grow from if theyre too immature or underdeveloped to pull themselves out of a bad situation when its possible. whens its violent or abusive in any way then EVEN I don't understand it. theres no excuse. so who knows? love is a silly thing. an all consuming thing and sometimes we mistake it, sometimes we dont recognize it and sometimes we want to believe its there more than it actually is. this question has a lot to do with the female psyche lol which is something guys and even girls will maybe never understand.
| cassandove chapter 2 . 11/15/2010
I never said that my reasons for staying that long were wise. It was an on-again, off-again affair. And I'm still insecure, but lesser now than what I was.
My relationship gave me strength where I had none and it made me see how beautiful, how precious, every life is - no matter their struggles or their sins.
Also, that shirt is amazing, and I want it.
I like your writing style and I hope to see more from you soon.
| cassandove chapter 3 . 11/15/2010
The best way that I - a military sister, niece, and friend - can tell you to do this is to just do it. Keep in mind that your family is concerned because they care about you, and make sure that everyone is involved. Accept all questions (even the dubious or somehow offensive ones) and have research (as in, real research, not the stuff they send in the mail) handy. The more you and your family know about your decision and what your branch does, the easier your decision to serve will be accepted.
| Ruby Kart chapter 3 . 11/15/2010
So this is the challenge for chapter 3. Am I ready for it? No.
This is a question where one generic answer will not suffice. So many variables to consider about what your parents could say. Add in the fact of back issues. Plus the fact that it is the military - not an easy situation.
I do recall you telling me about your desire to enlist in the National Guard. I still see it as a very honorable vocation. I don't believe that the army is a last resort or a place to send kids who misbehave. The army is an honorable agency set up by America's forefathers with the desire to defend and protect a country that they love and believe in. I am completely pro-army.
As a friend, I am concerned because of the back issues you have mentioned. But, I am not a doctor, and I can't advise you on whether or not the army is a good choice. I don't even no for sure if they subject you to physical examinations to be sure that you are fit enough to enlist. But, if this is the case - they would be a much better help in this situation than I would ever be.
Next, you have the issue of your family and their reaction. For some, the army doesn't come across as an honorable institution - I do not know the viewpoints of your family. Your mother, I'm sure, would be very concerned for the well-being of her son. Fighting in games like Modern Warfare is completely different to standing on an actual battlefield firing an actual weapon to save and defend your actual life. War is not pretty in any sense. People who experience war often come back with a new mindset, along with a myriad of images they'd love to forget. The fact that enterring into the army may also cause you to subject yourself to mental and emotional anguish is something you also have to be aware of.
Realize again that if your parents are discouraging you from pursuing this as a goal - it is not done out of hate or disbelief: it is done out of love. Your family does not want to lose you.
As far as what you can do to convince them? I have no answer for that. Be open and honest with your reasoning. Keep an open mind in your discussions too, as there are bound to be other vocational areas that could catch your interest. You still have time to decide before jumping head first into a commitment to the army. Either way, I wish you the best of luck. I'm sorry I am not of more help in this area.
| Ruby Kart chapter 2 . 11/13/2010
Okay, seriously - start your own magazine because the way you wrote this piece is definitely article style. Quoting people as if you've interviewed them (which you, in a sense, have) and adding in your own thoughts. It's like a blog, but different at the same time. I don't know - a new writing style for you. But - I like it!
Informant, honest, and to the point. No beating around the bush. No useless details, just straight up here's the way it is - take it or leave it.
You make me smile and laugh though. Couldn't get out of writing without an Amen, huh? jk. Thanks for the letter too - I just needed to know I had someone out there :)
Anyway, me and my ADD moments. I have one suggestion for you - switch the scenarious around. Ask some of your guy friends what they would do in a relationship where they felt the girl was being more of a jerk. Would the stick around or leave, and what they're reasons are. Should be interesting in that point of view too. It's just a suggestion - could help us females understand the wiring of the male mind anyway.
Good piece of writing. Look forward to what other questions may be thrown our way.
| Ruby Kart chapter 1 . 11/10/2010
Is this a challenge? Do I dare explain the complex mechanisms of the female mind to Tathwem? eh, why not?
Firstly, I don't understand all girls. So, anything I say is limited to my understanding and certainly does not apply to the entire female population.
Girls get emotionally invested in relationships A LOT sooner than any guy will. It's a fact of nature. Girls have a tendency to want to be close to people - hence the reason girls have lots of sleepovers and talk on the phone for ridiculous amounts of time. During the process, we're creating a bond with people, investing our time, energy, and emotion into a relationship we hope lasts forever.
When becoming involved with a guy - the emotional investment is a lot more risky, but becomes even more important. Girls want to feel loved and protected and cared for - and if a guy can give that to them, they'll continue to stick around. People on the outside may comment that he's a jerk and doesn't deserve her, but she's so emotionally invested already that she doesn't see what others see. She knows a 'different' side of him that they haven't been able to see yet.
Another reason for seeing this 'different' side, is girls like to daydream. When they have someone special in their lives - he becomes the sole character in her thoughts. She's thinking about what they'll do the next time they see each other, what they'll talk about, and before long she's already planned out word for word the next six months of the relationship. It's simply infatuation - and the more she does it, the more dangerous it is for her.
Remember my whole essay on emotions and feelings, and how they're not right but they're not wrong either. They're just feelings. Sometimes, girls get so wrapped up in feelings, that they forget to see logic.
Again, this doesn't apply to everyone. I have a friend who sticks with her jerk of a boyfriend for different reasons. She's hurt by friends and family, and believes the only one who's genuinely looking out for her is her boyfriend. So, she sits there and takes all the bull he deals out and just brushes it off because she's not prepared to leave him.
One last reason I can think of is one you've already stated. Girls feel they can change a guy. If he's a jerk, we can help him. He's just misunderstood and needs someone to love him and nurture him. We automatically take on that role.
Stupid - to a degree. But, it's just the wiring of the female mind.
Good luck in your quests for the answers. Let me know how it goes. Maybe I'll understand people a bit better :)
| A Least Common Factor chapter 1 . 11/9/2010
Hm, I've actually felt the same way as you before because my friend kept on liking this guy even though I always tell her he was a total jerk.
But when he once humiliated her she started saying she hates him but now...it leads to the "I know he's a jerk but..." like you've said.
I think that girls are kind of easily swayed by others because I've seen it happen millions of times already. I mean, even I get swayed sometimes. Therefore, I don't think there's a better answer to say that even if this guy's a total jerk, he, like everyone on earth carry some assets that the girl finds amiable.
With the good side and jerk side, the personality of the guy becomes kind of inconsistent which mysterious.
And girls kind of let curiosity get the best of them when it comes to guys.
Well you may disagree but that's how I see things so I hoped this helped
| cassandove chapter 1 . 11/9/2010
I was in an abusive relationship for almost all of three years... And in retrospect, my reasoning was gone. In my case - I can't speak for all of them, obviously - I stayed because he was broken. And I stayed because I never felt like I had a chance with anyone else. But mostly because he was so broken.
Now I see that saving people is not a valid reason for being connected to them. Also, I see now that anyone is vulnerable to any situation, no matter what they say or think. Surprisingly, I don't regret the relationship, because without it, I wouldn't be who I am in this moment.
I'd still be the withdrawn, antisocial, hates-the-world girl. But because of him, I've become more outgoing and I've found that the world really isn't out to get me.