Reviews for Death by Proxy
lianoid chapter 1 . 11/28/2010
I’m not a fan of some of the punctuation in this piece because I feel it made reading some parts rather awkward. Like, it just muddled the flow a bit, in my eyes. Then again, you’re the writer so you would know the flow best. I do like the bolded line because it’s already strong without the bolding, but that formatting made it stand out even more and had a lasting effect.

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HiddenFromYou chapter 1 . 11/26/2010
Wow. Have to say, this is truly awesome. I can relate to it a lot and you have a lot of power in your words that you put across well. Definitely a brilliant poem.

The first paragraph is the only weak point. Throughout the rest of the poem, you have very unqiue words and use them in new ways, while the first paragraph feels sort of cliched.

"even being to" - Should be 'even begin to'?

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