Reviews for Shameless: A Full Confession |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Great work. It's evocative and describes the "prisoners" emotions well. You can really see the desperation, the lonliness and the guilt (?) possibly (still debating on their inocence) seeping through. Thought provoking stuff - well done! |
![]() ![]() ![]() [To whomever] - I find the word "whomever" rather odd there. I think it should be either "whoever" or "whomsoever" - but apart from that, it seems unnecessarily formal for a heartfelt proclamation of innocence, even on paper. The formality makes the statement seemed forced...which really doesn't help his case. "whoever" is a more colloquial term and thus would work better. On the other hand, I really like the second and third (actual) paragraphs work since they work quite nicely in portraying the innocent and somewhat desperate man. The short snappy statements/questions, the use of ellipses and exclamation marks and especially that plea at the end really portray a realistic image and voice. It reminds me of the Crucible in a way. |
![]() ![]() ![]() I love stories that are written as letters...they kind of give me shivers, especially when they're well written. And this was REALLY well written. I like the fourth paragraph a lot, where he's talking about how he hasn't gone mad. The writing style's quite poetic... It's a beautiful read, I quite like it. Thanks for writing it:) |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hm... Before I offer my opinion, you didn't say it's a one-shot and "complete" so is this to be continued? It sounds interesting. So far there isn't anything "supernatural" in it. I wonder about the mention of the devil and 23 hours. (What happens in the 24th hour?) |
![]() ![]() ![]() I thought this was interesting. It seemed real, like an actual confession a man would give from a prison cell. Well done capturing the personality of him. I loved this sentence so much: Maybe I'll be left alone when ink is spilled rather than blood. It was so, I don't even know, but it spoke to me and was insightful. Overall, great job! All I'm left wondering is his full story. It'd be interesting if you expanded on this. ~Silver Sparke |
![]() ![]() ![]() Hmm, well, this will be a much shorter review, as I said x3 In terms of your writing, I definitely preferred your other poem, but I think that's a good thing, since this was evidently written sometime before your poem, and it shows a progression in your writing. I loved the line: "Some days, I feel the walls pushing closer in, almost as though they care what I have to say." That's exactly the kind of line I would've written, so I suppose I feel a certain amount of kinship with it xD I love personifying objects and animals and...you already know that xD but no, that was a perfect rendering of a cliché into something much more original and thought-provoking AND revealing in terms of character (thrifty lines are everything in these kind of short snap-shots). I have to say I wasn't so fond of what followed that line. It's more a personal prejudice, really. I just find characters rambling really uninspiring : The shame is, I think you could really jazz this up quite well, 'cause some of what I've seen has proven you've got the skill. I think you're quite pro-character-driven stories, and I'm more pro-plot-driven stories xD in terms of what I like to read, anywhom. What would've been most useful in this, I feel, would've been some more abstract imagery. Maybe flashbacks of the event rather than a momentary allusion. You know what I mean? Sorry to be so critical all the time :s there's definitely good in here too, as I pointed out above, so I hope you don't feel too pilloried :/ |
![]() ![]() ![]() Love it! |
![]() ![]() ![]() it's sad Aphrodite-venus-u.k |
![]() ![]() ![]() Very nice, I liked how he confessed how he felt, and questioned himself and why he was writing to someone or some people who may not even get the chance to see it. |