|Reviews for Like Eiderdown & Disendowers|
| faerie-gumdrops chapter 12 . 2/22
Eee, it has been way too long!
Ooh, so if this is the conclusion to the first plot arc, can’t wait to see what the next one will involve :). Thinking back, so much has happened in these twelve chapters, and I think it’s awesome the way you’ve managed to combine that plotty stuff (e.g. all the stuff with Phelan) with quite heavy introspection.
The dream was gorgeously visual, and yeah I think that Rebecca did seem somehow different with how she is in real life. I like too how it reflects the difference between maybe how she appears on the outside, and how she perceives herself. Worked really well, I think with the fact that the majority of this chapter is Rebecca’s POV – we’re surrounded by all of her thoughts, so it’s a great contrast you’ve created. Also love how heavily Sophie features with Dan. His feelings for Rebecca clearly don’t cancel out those he still has for Sophie. It’s realistic, and you can tell how deeply he must be grieving.
Ari and Hannah seem sweet, I guess? I love all of Ari’s ambition, and how she jokes about being short and flat :). I like the mix of them being friendly, but Rebecca still feeling a little peripheral (e.g. how she doesn’t want to drink, and how she has no idea how to deal with hung over people).
Ooh yeah and Phelan details! Love the introduction of stuff with Rebecca’s mother. Curiouser and curiouser!
| Jalux chapter 15 . 2/13
Been a while since I touched this.
I don't know but that small detail about how Rebecca only noticed after that her jaw was sore from gritting her teeth was a really nice touch for me, it's realistic and it's kinda like how some people don't realize they're tired until after something has happened. Just makes the characters here feel more alive so to speak.
The kiss is an interesting development, I like how it's so abrupt and the chapter just ends without much thought from Rebecca which makes for an interesting cliff-hanger. I think this is a good time to start touching on the romance aspect of the story, obviously this isn't the first sign but it's probably the biggest development thus far. Phelan is an enigma still and I think it's good, he's pretty crazy I guess which makes him an interesting folly to Rebecca.
Fairly good chapter.
| Scott Pilgrim chapter 1 . 2/4
This reminds of that song but I can't remember the name of it. I think it by U2 or someone. Whoever sang Message in a Bottle.
| SenatorBlitz chapter 2 . 1/31
hullo there! continuing our exchange (and kicking myself for not doing this earlier actually)
so i realized while reading this chapter that i think i have read some of this story before, however, that doesn't matter because i wasn't drawn to it then, the same way i am now. i think sometimes, when i'm simply review mining, i don't take the time to appreciate the work i am reading. this time, i slowed down to read, and there is a world of subtext that makes the writing itself very delicate, and very moving.
i really liked the way you chose to portray rebecca's history. in addition to telling us her parents were dead without blackmailing us into grief, you've also given a window into the pathology of her family, how they weren't happy even before the deaths occured. it made me wonder how rebecca herself, at that time, managed not to be jaded by it all (children are remarkably resilient).
it was more marked because at the same time you showed the likewise deterioration of her brother, given more responsibility than he probably thought he was ever going to have. at first i felt really bad for him, especially because it felt like he'd had a path that he had wanted to follow in life and once it had been derailed he couldn't get back on it. i cannot decide how rebecca feels about this at this point - the words around her sound resigned, but she is too young for this to be the life she's accepted.
the dinner was intolerable. and by that i mean i found the man, mr. phelan horrifically creepy. it wasn't anything you said in particular, or even rebecca's reaction to him, but just the way HE was. he was gross. and i hate him. like he...oozed creepiness. when i found out he was gay, it just made me confused? because he comes off as a predator or someone who works for a predator and she's a girl and based on his preferences shouldnt be his prey. i really didn't like the way he brought up her brother's debt in the context of their meal, or even that her brother was so insistent that she wear something nice. i don't know but it totally felt like an auction of some kind?
*bites nails* i really wish i could remember what happens next, but perhaps it is better this way, being left with a feeling of deep dread and horror the way it was meant to be.
the little scene at the end with her teacher was so sweet. i coo-ed a little bit, because, at its core, their relationship is one of kindness. and to see someone just be a good person to someone else transforms the ordinary like orange juice and cheerios into something precious. and i know they both completely believe this will never continue, but its still cute. like they are playing make believe together.
mm, final thing i want to mention is how you kept the teacher sounding like he was an old man. he didn't automatically transform into anything other than he was, but what you did instead was make his oldness...attractive? like i can totally see why someone would have a thing for older gentlemen if that makes any sense. it was curious reading it for me - i found myself kind of going "hmm" at various points. when i wasnt cooing of course.
anyway, really enjoying myself. i dont know what rebecca is like at 21, but i do like here here, if that helps with your question!
| Anna Snow chapter 5 . 1/28
Reviewing as I go because too many reactions. O.o
Something i find odd is Rebecca and Tom’s relationship— before it got super weird and sketchy. They don’t seem to have any connection whatsoever. Rebecca’s fantasizing about his death, but she doesn’t feel betrayal, sadness, guilt, or anything, which seems odd to me. Maybe she’s in shock, but it’s not clear. Also, I’m confused as to where she and Tom left things. He sort of dropped out of the picture.
Ugh, I feel so bad for Rebecca. She doesn’t owe him anything! I don’t understand, she’s always feeling majorly uncomfortable around Phelan (enough to make her finger bleed from gripping the table top) but she never puts together why. Maybe she’s desperate and can’t think straight?
Tiny nitpicky thing: “She was bleeding.” missing the period.
Oh my God! He’s making her a sex slave for his rich buddies WHAT WHAT WHAT this is why he’s been after her and Tom all along!
Wow, is Tom going along with Mr. Phelan? Is he the one who told the school she was sick? Yikes.
When Dan is talking to Andy, he mentions that he had some sex drive and went on a few dates, but he never remembered his obsession with Rebecca, which surprised me because he thinks about her a lot.
Well, that was unexpected twist.
| Anna Snow chapter 4 . 1/28
Oh my God, I have to admit drunk Tom took me by surprise. I can’t believe he harassed Rebecca! I wonder if they will talk about what happened… I can’t imagine anything can be the same between them again.
Poor Rebecca. She has such a messed up home life, and everyone who wants to help her seems to have ulterior motives. I’m interested in how she compared herself to Abigail Williams. She seems desperate and backed into a corner now. I wonder how things will play out.
I really like Dan's comparison of Rebecca’s mask of happiness to Splenda. It makes me think that everything she does is an act— even when everything’s falling apart, she still wants Dan to think she’s well adjusted to write her a good college recommendation letter, how she’s focusing so much on getting good grades and track. She doesn’t really hold her friends close either and she never confides in them. I get the feeling she thinks her life there is temporary and she wants to escape to college.
I found a typo: should be ["pouring” over notes] not [“poring” over notes]
| Anna Snow chapter 3 . 1/28
Wow, Mr. Phelan is coming off as a complete creep, especially with his Cheshire cat grin. He’s acting like a loan shark, oh I’d let your brother’s debt slide if you come live with me. I’m glad Rebecca has the sense to be cautious about it. I hope she talks to Tom about the situation. The way Mr. Phelan keeps saying Tom is unstable makes me wonder if Tom is involved in something dangerous. He definitely knows something Rebecca doesn't. I feel so bad for her. She already has so much pressure from school, now she has to deal with this.
Rebecca’s friends seem great. They remind me of my friends who keep me from hermiting xD
So far Rebecca doesn’t seem to have any interest in what most teenage girls are interested in— social life and boys. So far, she hasn't been interested in any of her classmates. I guess she has some perspective because of her family situation, and she seems rather grown up and serious for her age.
| DutchAver chapter 25 . 1/27
Yay, I'm the notes! And then I procrastinated for a year, so I probably don't deserve to be there. Ah well. I'm glad you enjoyed my positivity and I hope that my criticism doesn't detain you from writing. Because I'm still writing and I hope you are too!
| DutchAver chapter 24 . 1/27
Well, hello there. I have this weird habit; if people tell me their birthday, I put it in a birthday app on my phone that notifies me whenever someone has a birthday coming around.
Today, my phone told me that it was your birthday. How weird, right? Have a good one, even though you're probably in Europe right now and your family in the USA.
And of course, here is my birthday gift. Something I've been postponing for a long while. My review of the final chapter. Here we go! :)
(Also, lol... I wrote this bit before I read the chapter. Loved how you pointed out your birthday in the A/N too)
First of all, what I thought was awesome, was the chat with mr. and mrs. Linden. I felt it was very recognizable, because every school has parents like those, who think that their child is 'special' and are willing to overstep a lot of boundaries to make sure they're happy, at all costs. I loved the awkwardness in their conversation.
However, I'm still a bit troubled by how it doesn't really feel like an ending. What you said in your Author's Note, that it was too much for a final chapter, is something I'm afraid I'll have to agree with. It feels like the story just ends way too soon, with Jen catching Rebecca and Dan. Honestly, I'm very willing to see the good stuff that happens afterwards, the fights and how they're torn apart - why did you have to end it here? I'd love to see more of this.
However, I do have to commend you on finishing this story. (Even though I'm a year late) It's freaking hard to finish something, especially if it took as long as it took you with this story. I'm still in love with the characters deeply, and they're very well-written - but there's nothing in my previous review I don't agree with.
Anyway, I hope you're still writing, because I still think you're an awesome author and I hope to read more from you in the future!
| Anna Snow chapter 2 . 1/26
Rebecca seems the type of person who is eager to please. She doesn’t think too highly of finance, but she wants to impress/ smile for Mr. Phelan. In her place, I would be slightly annoyed, but she seems to enjoy the attention. [Maybe I’m reading her wrong. It's too early to tell.]
Rebecca is cynical, but remarkably well adjusted in spite of her parents’ death. She seems to keep herself busy with track and getting good grades. I feel kind of bad for Tom too. He is desperately trying to please Mr. Phelan and succeed in finance to provide for Rebecca. She and Tom don’t have the greatest of relationships though. I don’t know if she realizes Tom has a lot of responsibility for her.
Phelan seems weirdly generous to Tom and Rebecca (especially for a VC), and it makes me question his motives. (A question: you said Mr. Phelan was never in the closet, but Rebecca is saying he’s implying she thought he was heterosexual? Sorry if I’m missing something)
And then we have more of Waters trying to get closer to Rebecca. He even asked her to come to school early just to see him. Woah, dude. I wonder if they will get into a relationship and how that will progress. Maybe Waters will lose his job… even though he was tenured. Not to mention Mr. Phelan is the chair of the English department. I sense impending doom.
| SenatorBlitz chapter 1 . 1/25
hullo there! chapter 1!
so, ive decided that its actually more offensive when someone starts a review with all the things they dont usually read because of this bias and that bias, etc. i will say, this is the first story of its kind i've ever read and i'm excited to get started!
i really liked the way you described the attraction that the teacher had for her, particularly because it felt like it was the kind of attraction that could only arise between a teacher and his student - that is to say, if maybe he'd met her in another medium, he'd never had appreciated her the same way. his nervous energy was endearing, especially given his age. you'd think when you're that old you'd be past the butterflies and awkward bits, so it is a delight to think that even at this age there are still stirrings in the abdomen.
through his eyes, no matter how ordinary the writing insists Rebecca is, she is beautiful. her earnestness and willingness to go the extra mile. i love how he recognises that there is no shortage of great analysts in an advanced english class but still, somehow, this one draws his eye.
i love the little scene where he's marking papers and he gets to hers and has that pause "i wanted more out of your body-". oh the double entendre! i thought it was absolutely clever and clearly showcased his less than coherent state as he marked the papers. it is also to his credit that give his special attraction he still manages to be fair when he marks his paper. means he's a good teacher and if we're going to have a teacher student relationship then by god we're going to have a a decent teacher!
oh haha the comparison between him and that teacher who looks really pretty but cant get any teaching done made me giggle. i'm already really liking the dynamics that are being set up in this and can't wait to see what you do with them next!
until next time!
| Anonymous chapter 18 . 12/30/2014
As a reader I kind of feel myself torn between enjoying this as a work of fiction - a kind of fantasy drama/romance, feeling thrilled about the fact that you as the writer have finally decided to take the whole Rebecca - Dan relationship to a new level (the next 'natural' step after "Dan and Rebecca having dull, painful conversations standing three feet apart." and the kiss) and between feeling as a kind of reviewing 'critic' that it's all happening too fast and that the story is losing its realism at this point. Like the previous scene with the kiss seems well still slightly stretched, awkward but plausible whereas in this case to me Rebecca's actions seem totally unbelievable and far fetched. How could she just think of turining up at Dan's house like that? Didn't she have her worries, doubts, her conscience, her common sense telling her how it waas all wrong... And Dan, it seems so unlikely that he being the responsible adult and teacher he is, as well as caring for Rebecca as he does, that he would just give up and agree to this so easily.
| Anonymous chapter 21 . 12/30/2014
And another thing I'm feeling totally overwhelmed and kind of shocked with the whole Phelan, Elise, and Brett thing because it seems like no one was happy in this 'love triangle' - I mean who loves who? Doea Phelan even love Brett or is he just attracted to him? It seems that Elise loves Brett but who does Brett love Elise or Phelan? It's just so confusing...
| Anonymous chapter 21 . 12/30/2014
Personally, I think this chapter completely explains everything - why Phelan (unfairly but yet logically) holds a grudge against Rebecca - writing from his point of view really does help in understanding his sick, pereverted, cruel (yet hurt heartbroken) mind and it does make him seem slightly less scary and daunting as a character (since you understand him better), although I can't quite say I can fully sympathise with him... But at the same time I'm feeling slightly disappointed that Dan didn't say much to defend Rebecca whilst Phelan is all the while snaapping at her and briging up her worst fears...
| Guest chapter 5 . 12/28/2014