|Reviews for the town|
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 11/27/2010
The tense threw me off a bit. It seemed like what was going on in the town was present, but the parts about the "you" were in the past in the beginning and then all of the sudden the parts about the "you" were also in the present. I was a tad confused. Specifically these lines "You took a train from the city/and lay down in the grass."... Where you switched tenses in the same sentence. Also, it seems like they just moved here with these memories and the part about the mom maybe still being there, but then the ending make sit seem like they've been here awhile.
Other than that I really liked the piece. The way you described the town was great. Not only could I picture all those things but I also got a feel for the emotion this person had for the town. And the way you described the grass was really beautiful.
I also liked the ending (despite being slightly confused). The idea of wanting silence, but then when you have it wanting noise is something I Can definitely relate to.
PS Check out the Review Game and/or it's Review Marathon (links in my profile!)
| lymli chapter 1 . 11/17/2010
I like the scene, it felt like being lost in the streets or something.