Reviews for Ally in Wonderment
Louis Denair chapter 1 . 11/24/2010
sureralism is extremely distinct here and conveys masterfully the strange, dissolute fantasy of a dream. the idyll reality of fiction versus grim reality evident from the very start ('not nearly as my mind remembers') and there are symbols, too, just as old Freud perscribed (I especially fancy the subtle 'egg-yoke sky' which connects nicely with the 'pregnant with bloom' and so on, alluding, perhaps, at some such natal tragedy). Also the poem is devoid of strict chronology or continuity, evoking rather static images or scenes, again-just like in a dream. On the whole you've managed to keep the tension between fiction and reality without overdosing either, and the fake optimism of the ending is certainly a plus. What I didn't like was the "she pissed it out stinking of alcohol..." interjection, the sudden vulgarity of which threatens to ruin the grotesque calm and detachment of the speaker and doesn't fit in with the tone of the whole...but other than that-wonderful!
no.peace.los.angeles chapter 1 . 11/24/2010
Lovely. It does have that strange surreal feeling of Alice in Wonderland, but updated and darker. It's very barren, and colorless, and I think that's what makes this piece work. The last line is excellent. Keep writing! :)
nickyO chapter 1 . 11/21/2010
a little goth, a little disturbing, with the mixture of adult and "child like an adult" theme. The ending brings some comfort. Well written.