dis was grate

H-O-T HOT!

Nice story! :)

aND OH HOW I LOVE THIS CHAPTER!

-"Why? But okay." He smirked. - It would sound better if you put: "Okay, but why?" Instead of "Why? But okay."

-" "Well here you are, should've know." She smiled" It should have been known instead of know.

-" I smiled at him, "I got stuff to make us warm and cozy, and there all fuzzy." " Okay, what is she referring to? I'm confused. Is she referring to the blankets?

-" thin yellow colored hair hand on." What in the world is a hair hand?

-"No what happened down there?"

"They knew we had sex last night. They walked in at 1 am and saw the clothes on the floor and asked me if we did and asked if we used protection. It was a bit awkward, just saying."I explained.

Punctuation saves lives. There are spots where it needed commas, and at the very end where it needed a space. Ever head of the thing, 'Let's eat Grandma!' and 'Let's eat, Grandma!' That's where I'm getting at with punctuation saves lives :)

-Other than those errors I spotted, I didn't really see anything else. There were a couple spelling mistakes that I noticed, where you used the wrong form of the word. Nothing too big. Just reread your work when you're finished with it; it helps quite a bit.

Oh, and if it were my mother who found out that I'd had sex, I would've been chewed out and all sorts of stuff. I understand some people's mothers don't care too much... but there are the ones who are overly protective about their "baby girls" :)

All together, it was a very good chapter, and I'm looking forward to reading more, so keep up the good work :)

It was a good chapter, but it felt kind of rushed. Like, you just couldn't think of what to do, so you just spit this out in a jumble of words. Everything is just kind of telling, not showing, ya know? Not meanin' to be mean or anything. Just saying.

This is a very good story so far(: The only trouble is that there are some errors in each chapter. You might want to go back and reread/edit your work before you submit it, or get someone else to read over it for you. Other than that, your story is coming along very well(: I love the characters! They're so much more realistic than other ones on the site. You sorta hate them, but you love them at the same time, if that made any sense XD Anyways, I'll be looking forward to your next update(:

I am like so digging this story! Post soon!

At least he didn't break up with her or vise versa. So, since that didn't happen, I loved it!

Great work as usual :) Luckily it's not cliche like when the boyfriend stays mad and goes to fuck another gal just to 'get even'. Maybe you could make Julie a little more reliable? Cos at the moment, she's a little too weak, and somehow makes people think that she's not worth Bryson. Keep it up :) !

hehehe problem solved she told him! :D

I hope the nect chapter is posted soon...I am still trying to get over her and Mickey (I mean it in a good way...)...This is such a good story, and I can't wait for more!

I think it was good. I also like that she decided to tell him. Look forward to the next one/

Nah it doesn't suck :) I like it :D It was good, and emotion filled, and I really felt bad for Julez. I could've stuck myself in her shoes for a moment, and pictured myself getting upset just like that. Though I've never cheated, I could easily picture this little apology scene. :) It was good, keep up the good work! :D

AH are you serious? You almost made me cry. Bryson is so damned hot and shit! Just why? I knew it was coming from the start, but why? Now i have to go cry in a corner. But it was good, nonetheless, just really surprising. And now I know what else is going to happen. Keep writing, UPDATE