I just read the first chapter and I wanted to review. The beginning sounds very robotic. It is just a bit boring because of the way that you introduce the character. You make it sound like everything has already been done. Like you say things like, ' I was going to pick up my bestfriends' or whatever but you can make that different. You could just have had he get in the car and drove to the first friends' house. Also it seems like in the begining you describe everyying that she was going to wear and do. Describing isn't a bad thing but instead of having a long list you could just have her do those things and get dressed. For example you could say, " after brushing my teeth and soaking in a hot bath I pulled my favorite outfit from my closet. I had just bought it with the other girls and it was really cute..." then you could go on to describe the outfit. I hoped that I haven't offeneded you but helped you.

-PurpleEmoChick

lol, it's good to know Cindy isn't a slut like Miley Cyrus.

i never expected Eric to be so jumpy! omg, i honestly cant wait to see how much he changes! and he'd better love her back XD

gosh, i just cant wait to read about Eric's come out XD

Ooh! She's so in trouble! I can't wait to see what she's gonna do!

It's generally amazing, but I think the dialect is a kind of mechanical :P Don't get put down. okay? Dialect seems easy, but it's quite hard to master; even I can't say that I've got it down! But still, I think you're doing a good job over all! :)

come on why isn't there more chapters. it NEEEEEDDDDDSSS more chapters.

good start. but i notice that you describe her two friends and not her. i would've like becca's description to get a better mental picture of her

Plz plz plz update it has a rlli gud plot nd btw great summary but plz update im dying to read it thx xoxo

xD That was adorable w Looks like hes going to be fashionably late? x'D I really love this and I will inform buddies of mine about this story :O my friend Marvin is a writer too he thinks this story is cute new fans FTW w I really want to draw Eric and Ryan now :o

Oh hell yea's xD I cant wait for that. o3o And good to hear you are gonna keep going X3

rlli gud lol plz update the next chapter P

I find the concept of your story interesting because usually in stories like this it's the guy that's the popular one, not the girl. An refreshing change :)

please update soon :D

it seems like a really interesting story

o_O

*clears throat dramatically*

Wow.

That is all I have to say.

xDD