Reviews for Crush Series I: The Cheesy Plan
dancing-in-the-silverain chapter 1 . 12/28/2010
Aw... Adorable and cute, just what I needed x
ghurl00 chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
This is hilarious!:) Loved it!:D
SunsetRainbow chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
That is the cutest cheesiest thing ever!

Haha love it :D
pinkguppie chapter 1 . 12/21/2010
So cute. Adorable! Why can't I get a guy like that? Honestly you ruin real men :P

Great work :)
Ngoc1231 chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
This was super cute. And the pick up lines were pretty bad. I don't know how I would feel if someone told me those haha.

Love the story!

wind's aria chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
I'm here for some concrit, please don't take this the wrong way. :)

You've got a bunch of typos here and there. Do try to run your story through a spellchecker and hopefully a beta reader before you upload. It's 'complacent' for your first paragraph, and you used a 'you're' instead of 'your'. (Normally, once I spot mistakes like that, I tend to stop reading, but heck, I'll give this a shot). Anyway, there are a couple more spelling errors and some tense problems.

Some of the sentences just seem awkward. I dunno, it's like you're trying to say to much. Remember, 'show not tell'. As for the story itself, the plot seems lacking.

Keep on writing
WishBlade chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
Hahaha, I loved every single pick up line you used in here xD And the story was just adorable. Beyond adorable, actually. I don't think I stopped smiling once! ]
Dibss chapter 1 . 12/20/2010
I have read so many one shots and stories and I have NEVER given a negative review, but this was just... Bad. :S

I would reccomend getting help and advice from a good writer.

Keep writing.

Hope you improve (instead of taking this badly
ChocoResha chapter 1 . 11/28/2010
Hahaha, aw that was so cute! Thanks for sharing this with us! It's a great read. Cheered me up! :D
shanaenae123 chapter 1 . 11/22/2010
oh my goodness! your talking about my amnesia girl! i wanna see that movie! oh! and i love this one shot! it's so cute! :D
dakota s chapter 1 . 11/22/2010
haha this was really cute!
OnceUponaStory chapter 1 . 11/22/2010
That was adorable. I loved it!
CaBlasch87 chapter 1 . 11/22/2010
this was just too sweet and funny! i loved it! great work!
builtonbones chapter 1 . 11/22/2010
Aw this was just too cute. I love pick up lines since they're so ridiculous but if used correctly, very smile enducing. Which I'm glad to saw you accomplished, I couldn't help but smile at the end. I think that you could've put more detail though into what the characters look like and develope it even though it is a one shot its always good to fully develope stories. I also think that the title could be changed to something funny like a pick up line itself to give a hint of the story. Well done(:
InkyPink chapter 1 . 11/22/2010
Gotta love a bit of cheese! :D I did enjoy this, it was fun! Nico is actually quite sweet, I love the way Alayna just slowly crumbled... :)
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