|Reviews for Case Xander|
| morphine and lollipops chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
AH So I don't have time to read the other two chapters but Xander is love and I already can tell that this humor is my type of humor so I am going to love this. I mean, really. It is written by you. ;D
| Paige Cruz chapter 3 . 12/27/2010
The feminist in me is doing somersaults and pumping her fist in the air, going all, 'Hell yeah, go Villa!' but you know, that's just me. :D
Oh, and Xander seems adorable, in a dorky way. Gotta love dorks.
over and out.
| Noir Schist chapter 3 . 12/26/2010
Woah. Villa's...seriously superhuman. Poor Xander, he's got some serious crap coming to make him suffer. And Lance's diary is still funny, even if it's not so secret any more. Villa's evil, I tell you xD
When the chapter started, it says: "Xander Wyatt: on pushups.", but from the way I see it, it seems to be written from Villa's point of view. Isn't it supposed to be from Xander's POV?
Also, under "From the files of Villa: Case Xander (4)", there was the part about Villa saying that technology is useful. Here: "...Technology is always useful.
Except when it's not."
Um, what's that supposed to mean? The last line, I mean. There she says technology's always useful, so I think you meant to write except when it's not doing something her way. The way it's now, you're saying that it's useful when it's useful and useless when it's useless. Same thing, right? That's the way I see it.
Oh, and I felt that some parts of the story were sort of...disjointed. Not very smooth, how they were put together. But they were very small bits, so don't worry. I think it's just me and my perfectionist ways...
Story's still good. Keep going! Am waiting for next chapter! (:
p.s. My review feels annoyingly long. Sorry about that.
| Paige Cruz chapter 2 . 12/23/2010
New story, huh? Well, let me get my two cents in.
There's a little - no, HUGE difference between 'Case Xander' and 'Weightless,' since the latter was high school fluff and all, but I can still see traces of your trademark wit and humor. Gotta love that. :D
I do have a few concerns on grammar, but that's not something a litte proofreading can't fix.
Hope to read more from you. :) Over and out.
| Noir Schist chapter 2 . 12/13/2010
SORRY for being a lazyass and reviewing late! By the way, I'm upset that this story had only my review in it... D: 'Cause this piece of writing is way better than some of the crap out there and people should already be swarming over it in excitement! (Okay, that's seriously too dramatic a thought...)
The beginning was sort of lukewarm. I guess that was only because there were descriptions around. But after that, the chapter levelled out and turned out great.
I'm also glad that we know now why exactly Xander was taken in by Villa and them. You seem to handling the topic of computers, programming and such pretty well. Although, I have to warn you, that in coming chapters, you should include a very precise amount of detail in that area. Anything less and that'll become a negative aspect of the story.
Oh, and I loved the security camera's narrative! Haha!
Waiting for the next chapter (:
| Noir Schist chapter 1 . 11/24/2010
I practically squealed my butt off when I saw the fateful e-mail in my inbox. An alert from you! It's been so long. Hope you've been alright these past days (months, I should say...).
First off, I'm very impressed. I like the approach you took to this sort of plot. Humour does play an important role in these types of stories (when it's included), and you, ma'am, are exceptionally good at manipulating humour. I love that about you The progression's good, and the plot already feels very solid.
I also feel that the characters have been thought out and developed well. Kickass, you got that! I loved the part about Lance's diary and the security camera. Make sure you include some juicy stuff narrated by the cameras, 'cause I love their descriptions! Hehe.
So, yeah. I'm definitely very excited about this story. Make sure you hold the same tone and pace in the next chapters-it started out great, and you should write just the same in the coming chapters.
On another note, may I ask what happened to the epilogue of 'Weightless'?
Hope my rambling helps, and as usual, waiting eagerly for an update (: