Reviews for Straight to the Top
bewareoftheturtles chapter 1 . 4/8/2011
Hi. I haven't had the chance to review all your poems yet so i decided to start at the beginning. I loved the rhyming.

please review mine when you can. thank you so much.

Your friend olivia
lookingwest chapter 1 . 2/22/2011
With a crash as you land, your crash-landing is done,

-Like this line because it had some great imagery in it and because of the use of the word "crash", which I think is bold and it comes across as jolting to the reader here.

I liked the way that you used a serious subject matter but used a rhyme scheme for the endings because I think it was creative to mix the two-I normally don't see sing-song stuff like this with a subject manner that's a bit darker.

Also enjoyed the use of the second person because it included the reader in a cool way, overall I think you worked this in a successful manner because the entire stanzas also led up to a good ending on the last line there, and I like how it felt resolute and ended in a proper place.
YasuRan chapter 1 . 2/22/2011
'dilemma-cal' sure has a nice ring to it :)

This is a well-structured poem: there is clear foreshadowing at the beginning as implied with the opening questioning line and the theme is elaborated further with each progressing stanza. I like the use of certain phrases like 'you didn't cross any t's and you dotted no i's' because they clearly frame each scene that you portray. To end with, I like how the narrator's accusations culminate in a warning in the very last stanza. Leaves quite an impression.

Well done!