|Reviews for Anatomy of a Romance|
| Frap chapter 1 . 4/8/2011
I have to say that you always incorporate music in your work and I love that. So this is your answer to a request at 'Penny's'.
I'm reviewing as I read so if it seems choppy sorry.
I love that song by the way too, the temptations.
The first paragraph was so romantic,'HE' destroyed it. No just kidding, but you are a very good writer, so that over usage of 'he' is killing your flow. I know you can re-word it a bit to lessen how many are in the beginning.
Totally loved how you snapped Tom out of his daydream. I can relate sadly...*Sighs* However, that word is still creeping into your story and it became less prominent toward the later half of the paragraphs leading to his next flashback.
Amazingly real is the next portion but the 'he heard, he heard, he' is still dampening your work. Change it up. Some repetitiveness can be used for style but it doesn't feel that way. So hopefully you fix that. The imagery is wonderful and I like how I can almost see his love.
Do you plan to write more to this? I can's believe you would leave us hanging like that. I want Tom to give her a poem, which means you must write one and I must research the poets referenced...LOL
Seriously though this is beautifully written surferdude and the romance that is presence is such that you simply have to continue this.
Yes, I'm pleading with you to continue, or at least say they get together after a long while...Something to satiate my expectations of what is to come.
Great work and hopefully, you'll add more.
| YFIQ chapter 1 . 3/8/2011
Sucks to be him.
Pretty well written and some parts of it describes Tom's situation very well.
Also helps that bits of poems were placed, it fits well. One can always dream indeed.
Keep up the good work!
| fivelfleurhavens chapter 1 . 3/5/2011
I adore this piece.
I feel like this came from the heart. The love that Tom has for Sarah is so strong and so sweet. In my mind, I can picture this being about a girl thinking about a guy. You know...your story reversed.
I can defiently relate to Tom. I'm sure alot of people fill that way about someone...I know that i'm one of them. :)
Anyways...your writing is beautiful and it speaks to me. Keep on writing, you're good at it. :)