|Reviews for SWAPPED!|
| DutchAver chapter 21 . 12/11/2011
Why am I not included in this list? :( (Just joking, I know this was written before I started reviewing xD)
Anyhow, it's great that you wrote shout-outs, I've done the same at the end of my story :) Not much else I can say about this :)
| DutchAver chapter 20 . 12/11/2011
Ah, okay, maybe Iemon's journey to Pondicherry is your sequel hook, but I'm convinced those three girls play a role in it too. Why else would you define their characteristics so much in the previous chapter?
So what's going to happen in the sequel? I'm very much curious. I guess we'll find out about Iemon's past, and about why he's so much of a jerk... not to mention his father. What has he done to him? And how will Iemon's father and Sara react to each other?
'School was there for simply a week. ' Don't you mean, 'merely a week'?
I will be back for the sequel, you can count on that - I can't wait until I can read it! (Which will, hopefully, be tomorrow... I have exams coming up, though ( ) Hope my reviews were helpful and I hope that you'll keep up writing!
By the way, your Author's Note is very ironic, considering that it applies to the present too xD
| DutchAver chapter 19 . 12/11/2011
I love Sara's sarcasm at the beginning of the chapter - I love sarcasm, like many people D
It was awesome to see Sara and Iemon stand up against that gang of three girls, one of which is Anita. They're your sequel hook, I guess?
You describe Iemon really well, again - he's a nice guy, he just doesn't want to admit that to himself, and you define his characteristics very well, which makes it a pleasure to read. Maybe he'll warm up to others more the next time.
'I'm taking you Forum. It's a new mall here' I think you mean 'to the Forum'. Also, 'It's a new mall here' sounds awkward to me. Don't you mean 'There's a new mall there'?
I could pretend I was going to leave it here, I definitely could. But let's just say... I am really curious to read the epilogue So here we go, to the epilogue!
| DutchAver chapter 18 . 12/9/2011
I knew they'd go back to the little shop D I guess, in the sequel, they're going back there once again to get what they were promised? I'd most certainly take what the woman would want to give me for free anyway.
Sara and Iemon are probably going to become good friends over time, even though Iemon claims they won't get along - I think such a thing bonds them together strongly, and I think they like each other more than they're letting on.
Iemon's a bit too easy in accepting his father back. You've told us that he's called his son stupid, and that he's abusive, and just a total you-know-what. And now, he accepts him back that easily? Doesn't feel right to me.
Hurray for you almost ending! I'll review the next chapter as soon as possible. It was a relief for you to have finished the story, I presume? I've been there too, multiple times :)
Hope this review helped, two mistakes:
' and logged onto the website that would have our marks listed.' marks should be grades :) Been making that mistake too often myself too.
'I stared at the result. I recalculate.' recalculateD
See you as soon as possible, hopefully tomorrow!
| DutchAver chapter 17 . 12/8/2011
The return of those two in their own bodies was pretty awesome and nice to read, though, again, it's got a strong Freaky Friday vibe to it. I've seen the movie, and the mother and the daughter in there return to their bodies in much of the same way, at a wedding too :)
The parents are very cooperative, and very nice, to just be happy that their children brought them together. In their place, I'd join in the wedding and then give my son/daughter a lecture that they wouldn't forget very soon. But that might be just me.
Are they now going back to the shop where everything happened in the first time? I'm curious to see what happens then.
There's one mistake:
'and she and Veer bhaiya got through to her mother' you mean Veer Bhaiya? You make this mistake a few more times, you know :)
See you next time!
| DutchAver chapter 16 . 12/7/2011
Well, as far as I can tell, you surpassed the 100 reviews easily :) Well done!
I'm curious to see what Sara and Iemon are up to. I'm sure it involves returning to their own bodies in some way - I'm curious anyhow.
I love how Iemon uses Sara's authority to make everyone shut up. Those two are beginning to know each other much better - and I love the sentence 'I caught my eye'.
| DutchAver chapter 15 . 12/2/2011
Another good chapter where we slowly find out a little more - I'm intrigued by how both sides of the romance stopped waiting for each other at exactly the same time. So those two will get back in their bodies once their parents marry, or something? It certainly has to do something with their body swap anyhow.
How can Iemon, in Sara's body, still talk with his mother? I mean, didn't he inherit Sara's voice as well? The mother must've noticed that, wouldn't she? A tiny little plot hole.
Short chapter, short review, as always :) Keep up the good work!
| DutchAver chapter 14 . 11/30/2011
It's a shame that Sara and Iemon won't fall in love, but that keeps it unpredictable after all. I'm glad I'm not the only one who was wise enough to see that their parents were going to marry!
We get a bit more backstory of Iemon, and that's good - but we also get to see, again, how much of a jerk he is. When Sara started to cry because she believed she killed her mother, what she needed is cheering up - but obviously, Iemon's beyond that.
So why does Iemon hate his father so much? Because said father used to hit him, maybe? Maybe this was mentioned in an earlier chapter, but I don't remember that anymore. Why were their faiths a problem for Abhash and Lilian?
Oh, by the way, I'm glad those two get to try again I love second chances.
All in all, a good revealing chapter, no matter how short it was. A few spelling mistakes:
'She is obviously doesn't let anyone treat her like a doormat.' I think you mean 'she obviously doesn't let...'
'You're dad loved your mother, Sara. ' YOUR dad loved...
Keep it up!
| DutchAver chapter 13 . 11/25/2011
Again, short chapter. I think the conversation between Iemon's mother and Sara's father is not about Iemon and Sara getting married - rather, I think it's about them becoming stepsiblings. Meaning that their parents are going to marry. That's very interesting indeed :)
Other than that, I don't really have a lot to say, it's more of the usual and how Sara and Iemon really need to go back into each other's bodies. You're right - you're a bit going in circles now, but that's fine :) Can't wait for the next chapter, hope this review was helpful!
| DutchAver chapter 12 . 11/16/2011
Hmm this chapter implies that there's a lot more to this story than a Freaky Friday-ish ending like... well, Freaky Friday has. I'm suddenly believing that there's a lot more to them switching back than just realizing what each others' lives are.
I do wonder how Sara knows this, though: she heard something like that from Iemon's mother?
The plot itself isn't moving forward too quickly, so I'm sorry, but I can't really find anything else to review about :P
'don't you know anything about our parent's past' this should be 'about our parents' past'
Looking forward to the next chapter!
| DutchAver chapter 11 . 11/5/2011
I don't think I have to explain why this review took so long - I'm doing NaNoWriMo now, so writing takes up most of my time Therefore, my reviews will be much more sporadic during November, just so you know.
Another chapter that shows us the problems Sara and Iemon have with switching bodies - only, what I don't understand - isn't addiction to smoking a physical thing? So, technically, wouldn't Iemon in Sara's body have no craving for smokes, while Sara would suddenly find herself wanting a cigarette? I might be wrong, though, but I think that would've been funnier.
Other than that, good chapter, and it's nice to see Sara's home life now, and how much her father cares for her :)
A few mistakes I spotted:
'I am dying to know your secret's Iemon.' No apostrophes in plurals, and a comma after 'secrets' would look much nicer :)
'"I gotta touch your stuff if I am getting out these stinky clothes!"' out OF these stinky clothes
'but the whole girlie getup of the room made me decide against it.' girlY getup
'I used Sara's house key to let myself in house. ' in THE house
Don't know when the next review is going to be, but I can assure you, it will be there, if my story doesn't catch up with me :) Are you doing NaNoWriMo?
| DutchAver chapter 10 . 10/29/2011
If I was in Iemon's or Sara's place, I'd probably shut the door tight and command that woman to switch us back NOW - I think they're letting her off the hook a bit too easily. I understand that woman's air of mystery is threatening, and a bit scary, but I still think they're accepting it a bit too quickly. I guess they'll switch back as soon as they see how difficult the other's life is?
I can't wait to find out what'll happen when they come home... there'll surely be a lot of trouble there, I think, as they both have to pretend to be the other Now, that's going to be an exciting chapter. And I'm sure there'll be a few other very embarrassing, but funny situations in this story.
Hope this review was helpful :)
| DutchAver chapter 9 . 10/28/2011
Again, short chapter, short review - you seem to make a habit out of writing short chapters :) But I understand that sometimes, the writing just doesn't want to work.
I think this chapter's a bit anticlimactic: I would've liked to see a bit more description in there, about Iemon's surprise to see his own body and how weird it was to him to pretend being a girl. Apart from that, the chapter's good, though I don't like the ending as well. But your writing style's as good as always.
Can't wait for tomorrow, if I get around to reviewing :)
| DutchAver chapter 8 . 10/27/2011
Yeah, it took you a while to get where you needed to go, but hey, background information is always good Though I would've liked to see this scene being a bit more climactic, but it's fine this way too.
I like the mutual threats between Iemon and Sara when they ended up in each other's bodies - they don't really stop being themselves nevertheless, and that's good. I don't know if I could pull off a body switch that well.
All in all, good but short chapter! Have you ever seen the movie Freaky Friday, by the way? The plot there is quite similar to this story :) Hope you'll reply to this review!
| DutchAver chapter 7 . 10/24/2011
Short chapter, short review, but I'll try my best!
I don't like Swastika, who seems to be an annoying holier-than-thou type - and not very intelligent as well, judging by her reaction to someone else saying he'll cover politics. I do rather like Iemon and Sara, though - even though they banter a little, they're both much kinder than they're letting on, I think. Can't be so sure of Sara's crush, though.
And Jeff... I wonder what kind of part he will play. I wonder, will he hook up with a guy? XD
'so calling me Veer bhaiya is helpful' I think Bhaiya should be capitalized
'"You're crush is a touch eccentric about politics, you know." ' YOUR crush
'gossiping and that was such a girlie thing to do.' girlY thing to do
Looking forward to your review response!