Reviews for Essays: Twilight
One Who Tries to Write chapter 5 . 11/29/2013
I've been reading around on your profile (good points on Twilight, by the way), and a few things have been bothering me.

For instance, you repeatedly use the words "affect" and "effect" incorrectly. Thankfully, I haven't seen any "you're - your" confusion, but almost every time I see "affect" or "effect", the wrong one's been used. Like in this chapter I'm reviewing, you say this: "I've seen how it has effected other people's careers". The word "effect" is usually supposed to be used as a noun. The correct one here would be "affect", which is usually a verb.

Another thing that's nagging at me is your use of commas (and occasionally apostrophes, but it's not bad enough to ever be ruining). They're everywhere in some chapters. I use them a lot too (in fact, sometimes I struggle to not do what you do often), but you put them in places where they don't need to be. For instance, here's an example from Chapter Two of these essays (Meyer Can't Take Critique): "What I am going to discuss here, is Stephanie Meyer's reaction". That comma after "discuss" is unneeded. I do realize that that chapter is probably old enough that you have gotten better, but at least edit it.
I read through the last chapter to see how you improved (in case my criticism is about things too old), and it actually seems that you aren't using enough commas. Most of it is okay, but there are a few sentences there that need a comma - say, before the "but" or "and".

Also, there is a couple of places where you use ellipsis and parenthesis or hyphens would be better suited for it. As an example: "Perhaps one of the reasons... and I could be wrong about this... that Twilight did do as well as it did" could be changed to "Perhaps one of the reasons - and I could be wrong about this - that Twilight did do as well as it did" or possibly put "and I could be wrong about this" into parenthesis.

I've kind of dragged on about this when you might've already improved on what I criticized. n-n; I hope my points are useful to you at least.

Melody
Lady Seratopia chapter 15 . 11/29/2013
I still like its art, not the books. It's pretty
Guest chapter 7 . 11/10/2013
Loving this essay I like how you arent all like bella is bad because I say so and you go over your points clearly. this is one of the best essays ever
Lolitroy chapter 23 . 9/22/2013
You're a real fan of Harry Potter aren't you -w-' I personally like neither, so...
Lolitroy chapter 24 . 9/22/2013
I began reading Twilight last week, because heck, I've seen so much negative reviews and wanted to see if t was that bad. Oh well...

The plot is nothing out of the common, slow start, cliche, but at least it has its things that help create "interest". The live for love plot is just ridiculous, some parts unbelievable to the point I rolled me eyes every paragraph... BUT! It has tons of wish-fullfillment, so it sells.

As for characters... Bella is supposed to be a relatable character, but her traits come way too exaggerated. She's supposed to be clumsy and trips pretty much every paragraph, please. And her shyness sounds fo OoC in comaprison to her narration... just not relatable. But again, it sells.

Sad to know most good literature is underrated just because it doesn't have "commercial fiction" traits -.-'
Annie Snow chapter 1 . 9/19/2013
I have to say that I really, really enjoyed reading this essay/review. You brought up very acurate points and discussed them accordingly. Plus, you leave me 100% convinced. Looking forward to reading more :)

Snow
Moonlightpheonix-xX chapter 8 . 9/17/2013
Erm... Sorry if someone else pointed this out, but I think you have th wrong essay in this chapter. You made an AN at the end about correcting Pattinson's name, so I think when you were replacing chapter 11/8, you accidentally replaced 8/5.
Lolitroy chapter 6 . 5/24/2013
Soo I was reading this essay. Good essay, by the way.

First of all, you defend yourself with facts, and good true facts, hich is a plus. Second, you stand by your opinion. Kudos! N wonder why you're on my fav authors' list.

I have just a question, which is more insatiable curiosity: where do you get the interviews from? Can you PM me with the link (spaced out of course) or whatever?
Lily F. Lux chapter 15 . 5/10/2013
Fourth and forth are two different words. Forth can be used thus: Go forth and preach the good news to all nations. Fourth can be shortened to 4th, and is part of a numerical order: Fourthly, I think that J. K. Rowling beats out Stephenie Meyer any day.
Lily F. Lux chapter 11 . 5/10/2013
His name is Robert Pattinson, not Robert Patterson.
Moonlightpheonix-xX chapter 14 . 5/10/2013
I completely agree with all of this. Twilight was not a good book and the only character I liked was Alice. But you want to know what would of made it awesome? If it was about Bella's dad finding out he lived in a town full of vampires and giant dog people(they DO NOT look like werewolves. _) instead of Bella's stupid love life. I would totally read a Fanfiction like that, but I wouldn't write one because I think I'd ruin it, but oh well.
Nevermind chapter 8 . 4/29/2013
I think that the Twilight fans are referring to the relationship build-up of Edward and Bella (which is something I myself have a problem with, but this isn't the right time or place to talk about that). In any case, I don't see the point in cullengirl00's statement here. The books are cluttered with useless scenes that have no significance whatsoever in the plot. Such a waste.

Good job with this, Yemi Hikari!
Nevermind chapter 5 . 4/29/2013
There's also the fact that Robert Pattinson, the lead male of Twilight, had a supporting role in the fourth Harry Potter movie as Cedric.
A Searcher chapter 1 . 4/16/2013
You make valid points. The fact Meyer went against a lot the facts known about those fictional creatures and probably just wanted the blood sucking part of the vampire to get Edward to first notice Bella.
Also you said "To many people have come to find this to be disturbing" I understand what you are trying to say but maybe I am the confused one there...
You made you points clearly and I know you wrote this a while back but I was interested in what you had to say when I saw "Bella is Meyer." You also are right in saying cooking and cleaning do not equate to maturity. I really liked this essay and you would probably get an A1 in Leaving certificate Higher level English in Ireland. I doubt many examiners could find fault with it.
tiggerandpooh chapter 6 . 3/18/2013
Whoa! She insulted The Princess Bride? And Shakespeare?! Ugh, I cannot stand this chick!

I like your writing very much. You are very good with your wording. :)
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