Reviews for the ocean
fantasybookworm2012 chapter 1 . 6/26/2013
I have a feeling this is a metaphor for something and actually isn't about the ocean. Either way it sounded neat. Though, if I were you I'd center the poem but that's a style thing and probably up to preference.
inversed ballerina chapter 1 . 1/19/2011
Loved the imagery here. Beautiful job.
lymli chapter 1 . 12/2/2010
that's true, sometimes people just shallow and they need to return back to simple.
FelleLLoyd chapter 1 . 11/28/2010
This is an excellent poem. I can honestly say I enjoyed every part of this. Keep writing.
lianoid chapter 1 . 11/28/2010
Ah, yes. I love how you kickoff this piece with a little alliteration. I think that was a great way to begin because it grabbed my attention and the phrasing of “gutter glamour” was definitely interesting and almost contradictory. I also like the clever use of brackets in the third last line. It gave the lines around it multiple meanings that I think was a really neat way to end the piece.

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Loqwell chapter 1 . 11/28/2010
Wow, your poem just rolled off the tongue; it was quite lovely. I also enjoyed the imagery you used. Nice!
culture clash chapter 1 . 11/28/2010
love the wordplay on g(r)asping. i also love the phrase "gutter glamour" - it makes me think of someone grungy but strangely beautiful. very clever. :D culture clash.
Angel Investor chapter 1 . 11/28/2010
Very good. Great imagery and metaphors. The only thing that bothered me was the fact that you didn't capitalize the title or the first letter of the first line in the poem. Other than that it was amazing. :)
HiddenFromYou chapter 1 . 11/28/2010
I didn't like that you had very few pauses throughout your sentences, because at it is, it looks like they're meant to be really fast and when I do that, there's too much to take in with the time I have.

Leading on from that, I didn't like the complicated imagery that you wrote here either, seeing as that added to the amount I had to take in. Regardless of that though, there were times when simple language would have sufficed and down just as much as the complicated stuff. Sometimes, less in more and simplier is better.

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