|Reviews for A Gatored Community|
| bibliophile1 chapter 24 . 1/12/2011
Still living up to my expectations from before; no need to repeat that frankly embarrassing, if true, gush.
A couple suggestions, however. I believe you have "liable", pronounced LYE-uh-buhl, confused with "libel", pronounced (I think) lih-BELL. "Liable" is an adjective used to describe the owing of debt or blame to the object of personal, emotional, or financial injury. "Libel" is a noun and synonymous to the word "slander".
Also, we need a little more internalization with Andilab, especially when she's facing down the protesters with scripture. In previous similar situations, it was clear that despite what she told herself she was really acting on more positive motivations-as well as her fury towards Kellington- but now it appears she is acting on nothing more than blind revenge. Perhaps she is, but unless it is presented in a clearer and more redeemable way, you will lose the interest of the reader. I already like Andliab as a character and even sympathized with her as a baddy, but you have to keep that feeling of favor towards the character. As Nathan Bransford's writing advice blog says,
"It's crucial crucial crucial that... the person who the
reader is most identifying [with] has the reader's attention
and sympathy throughout the novel. Otherwise your reader
will just stop caring.
And then they'll stop reading."
| bibliophile1 chapter 10 . 12/16/2010
Keep it comin'. This is GOOD. I see those grammar gremlins, but I'm not letting them spoil my day. Keep it coming. This is the best book, short of the Bible, I've read in a long time.
| bibliophile1 chapter 2 . 12/16/2010
I think I can tell where this is headed, and I have to say the tiny part of it I am seeing is very much to like. It's refreshing to see someone I hope is a good Christian writr somewhere, and inspiring to see they're better than me. I have to say you have my vote of support and approval, and that's that. Of course, being a writer that could pass for published isn't too bad, either. Humor, grammar, and serious character. The three things I love to see.
| zombie chickens chapter 2 . 12/7/2010
I love it when peopleintegrate poetry in fiction, really cool addition in this chapter. Again great imagery. This is already setting up to be an interesting plot.
| zombie chickens chapter 1 . 12/7/2010
Whoah! Awesome first chapter! I love these kinds of sci-fi stories where the world has taken a drastic change in some way. And I really love the imagery of this. It's kind of spooky and suspenseful and bizarre and I like it! Oh, and I especially liked the 'thank you god for global warming' bit. xD
| Elsbeth Lagrange chapter 1 . 11/30/2010
I gotta admit, the punny title made me a little wary, but this is a well-put-together chapter. My one criticism would be that I wish you had omitted the summary at the beginning- I think the work stands on its own, and it ruins the reveal of the flooded landscape. Anyway, that's my two cents. I like Ted already, and I will be watching out for more chapters.