I loved it! There were a few minor spelling/tense errors here and there, but really good. Please write more!

Hey totes, I'm reviewing as requested. I think you have a good foundation of a story, but you need to remove and add concrete to make it better. First of all little spelling mistakes, past and present tense mix ups and run-on sentences do bring down a story's credibility. So take it slow and fix them! :).

I suggest introducing the characters within description. For example when I meet a person I don't exactly think about everything from her hair to her physique. I notice her her is red when she flips it, and her eyes is blue when she winks. Same with the guy, I would notice he is tall when he is standing beside me and I have to look up. Do u know what I mean?

At the moment, Sarah and Jenny's relationship is unclear and it wasn't explained properly. Also, Em said go for it so I didn't understand why Sarah would say tat Em said she was too young when it was quite the opposite. Anyhow, all the best, you can do it and just keep writing!

well, odviosly, the run ons need fixing, but you have some great dialogue. try more imagry and figuritive language to give it something special. However, it seems your going for the snappy romance story, so you might not want to bog it down with description. Hope theirs more chapters. also, you need to clarify the part about Jenny's relationship with sarah, it's kinda unclear. good luck

this is awesome! :D

Hi. Its very good story :) I think you should description of the bookshop and the day before the conservations begins, girl. I think you should add more detail of the chapter. I suggest to you to read alot of books, newspapers and movies to find out what the readers want from that. :) So just double checking and i want say good luck with your story. Take it slowly and work with your story slowly. Its important to make your readers to have laugh, cry, angry and sighs of love. :) So your story is very good plot but i suggested that you should don't introduced your characters too quickly. It take time to build up. Its how story flow to, girl. So take it slowly and work with your story your imaginations your characters. Why not you try observation people around you, girl? Or ask a beta reader or someone who can help you how to write a imgaination, girl. :) Good luck and keep writing. Don't let you down, girl. :) Hurry update soon. Keep writing. :D PS I am gladly to drop in and hope that you kept writing. :)

As requested, I checked this out. This is interesting, and I like the dynamics between the two friends. Interested to see where it goes. I see growth between this and the other story, so I'll check back as soon as you post more. You're getting there. (: I'm proud.

Hmm, change your summary. The guidelines say:

"Use proper textual formatting. For example: using only capital letters in the story title, summary, or content is not only incorrect but also a disregard for the language itself."

Not only that, but saying your story's very good still doesn't tell us anything about the plot. We want a summary, not a self-inserted approval of quality.

I like Em's character. She's personal and cheerful. Nathan, on the other hand, sounds like a Gary-Stu, so be careful not to make him too perfect. Add a few hidden flaws like claustrophobia or gullibility to his character to make him more credible.

The quality of your text is decent. There were many little grammatical and punctuational errors that you'll learn to avoid by spell-checking your work before publishing.

Keep going.

As someone who will only read romance if it's only an extremely minor subplot, I think it's all right. I can only spot on error. You need to put an opening quote at the beginning. Keep writing!

Good so far!