Reviews for Flummox, and other fairytales, of course
Adrenalin chapter 1 . 12/12/2010
I really liked this poem. From others pieces of you that I've read, I get the impression that you use a strange flow in most of your poems, like stopping one verse in the middle of a sentence or right after the subject, like here:

"learning how to fall asleep- she

will become a child before your

very swollen eyes, partaking in

delusional inner workings"

Sometimes it bothers me, but here it works really well, especially as it goes very well with the subject of the poem. I had to look for the meaning of 'flummox' and after I understood it, I was able to make sense of your poem (and the fact that it doesn't make much sense, actually, but it's pretty logical).

I'm really fond of your imagery too, which is one of the most poetic I've come accross.

"She will give you her three finger

nightshade discount on midsummer


Probably my favorite part.

Good luck in the WCC.
Sercus Kaynine chapter 1 . 12/11/2010
I like how each stanza was a long sentence. It made the poem seem breathless, almost. Like when someone tries to tell you something so fast that they don't bother to stop for punctuation. Also like the allusions to history.

Good job and good luck in WCC!
frugale chapter 1 . 12/11/2010
Review written for the Review Game! Look for it in the forums.

What I liked about this poem is the third part of the poem: "She will give you..." Very reminescent of teenage summer evenings spent wandering in the city, carrying some too heavy load along. I can very much relate to the image it painted in my mind, that I was able to make my own - and I'm grateful or that.

What I didn't like about this is, just like the other reviewer, I didn't and still don't understand what's going on... and it's a shame that I leave this work behind with the impression that all that intricate imagery has been serving no purpose.
Narq chapter 1 . 12/6/2010
Good luck for the WCC!

I liked the "tongue fogged". Very creative.

The formatting was quite different, which kept me interested as well. However, I didn't quite understand what was going on (maybe it'sbecause I don't know what a Flmmox is).

But, I still love the way you played around with the language! :D