Reviews for Thoughts of Confusion, Eyes of Blood
Ebrethiel chapter 1 . 8/16/2011
Wonderfully unique. Neo-style edge-of-your-seat poetry with a lot of emotion. It was a good read from start to finish. Well done.
K. Molle chapter 1 . 12/9/2010
And here I am getting ready to look over the piece. I think I may change up my style and make comments as I read along, because this piece is a bit longer. Well off I go!

Alright so first question for the bold supposed to be the title or is it part of the poem. I hope it is, the different texture gives a strong lead.

Blood, blood, so much blood - at first I imagine some sort of cult chant, but then the next line makes me see a insane person.

He doesn't, he can't, he's lost.

Why?... - you had a bit of a mistake there and I think you should break that line up.

Where am I? - just was a capital 'I' there

Please me please; - again try this instead

This blood... it's all over me.


The boy is crying, - I eliminated two lines here, they aren't needed.

Why can't I move or speak? - I would also cut out this line, it's just restating what you said before.

He's alone... - you have I don't no where... his parents are, I would take that out, the single thought emphasizes lonliness.

That knife will scare the boy, he's crying already, - small error there you keep using his

Well this is certainly different from your other poems, you put some more hidden emotions into this one. If I had to pick I would go with your other style, but if you find this style and genre more comfortable to write, you should keep doing it.

Thanks for the read,

K. Molle
mary smith chapter 1 . 12/8/2010
A brilliant poem!You have written about a very difficult topic-great word choice and powerful images!
Dreamer0488 chapter 1 . 12/8/2010
You can really feel the urgency in this piece, makes you say what is happening? very powerful piece. I couldn't stop reading it and at the end it made me go "wow what happened?" x