|Reviews for Steel Strawberry|
| Mighty Agamemnon chapter 2 . 10/25/2013
This sounds like such a fun, creative, and erotic story! (Love the female muscles!) but just one little thing, we Puerto Ricans are not really "black" at least not most of the Caribbean islands or even Cuba & the DR. We're more mixed. We have a larger percentage of white but with more Taino (indigenous) blood that's mixed in with the black. And add Moorish (Muslim North African). But just saying "black" kinda gives the wrong impression. We're proud of ALL parts of our heritage though. Anyway, good job!
| Lord Slayer chapter 3 . 8/17/2011
Oh, this won't make for a complicated romance, no way. )
A neat concept, this whole enviromentalists vs. enviromentalists thing. It's pretty cool. And the thing with the parasitic worms controlling people and how they've been there since ancient times, it makes me think of H.P. Lovecraft's "Shadow over Innsmouth."
| Writing-Is-Fun chapter 2 . 6/7/2011
As short as this story is meant to be I feel it is too long. You need to split this up into more than two chapters possibly.
I don't mind the magical girl transformation at all either, but I find it creepy what Sofia Eisenberg did to her own daughter.
My final problem is trying to figure out Lita's role in this whole story. Other than that this is okay for a story so far.
| Writing-Is-Fun chapter 1 . 5/31/2011
You seem to have a dictionary at the beginning of every one of your stories. I find it somewhat useful, but hard to understand until I start reading the story like in the next chapter.
| Guest chapter 3 . 5/12/2011
It took a while to read all that. But it was all really quite fun and exciting. It left me wanting more of these characters.
I especially love Magnolia for some reason. She just seems cool. The scene with her and Sofia at the end was just hot to me. Loved that.
But really, it all seemed to work for me and was a lot of fun. Well worth the wait.
| Lord Slayer chapter 2 . 12/18/2010
Another interesting story. Not one of my favorites amongst your work, but then again I haven't really been much into Magical Girls since I got over my Sailor Moon phase.
Then Puni Puni Poemi nearly killed my interest for the genre entirerly. Curse you Excel Saga guys!
Ahem, anyway, I liked how you worked in Natalie and Schwarznebel Academy in here. It's really starting to sound like your Mythos is pretty heavily populated, what with monsters, super heroes, mega corporations, good and evil goddesses and multiverses and all that. I admire you for being able to keep track of it all.
My only two criticisms lie in how the Emerald was first brought up as a random topic of conversation that they both seemed so well informed about ( I found it to be a bit cliche and a little too convenient), and then the aetheism.
Please don't take this the wrong way, I'm all about respecting people's beliefs, and between the characters in this and "Night School," I'm starting to sense a bit of author self-insertion and that's fine, but in both stories the characters kind of bash the reader over the head that they're firm aethiests whenever the topic is brought up. Then you never bring up the obvious issue that both Natalie and Danni encounter gods when they don't believe in them. Granted, Danni thought it was a dream at the time and Natalie was pretty deep into the realms outside of human knowledge at the time of her encounter; but still, it would make for interesting things to bring up the next time you get the opportunity for either story- if nothing else than just for the opportunity to better develop your characters.
Anyway, my point is to be careful about declaring your characters' (and possibly your own) religious convictions so that it doesn't seem like they're being superiour or demeaing of other beliefs about it. With Natalie it's fine, because she's the type of character that people love to hate, but Danni and Melody are supposed to be likeable.
Sorry for this long winded review, and I doubly apologize if I seemed preachy (pun not intended). Just things to take into consideration.
More soon, please.
| Temjin747 chapter 2 . 12/16/2010
Hey, Rabu. Nice to see you got something out finally. The chapter is pretty long, but it kept me entertained so no complaints there.
Nice to see Natalie before she went to Schwarznebel Academy, but I really like Danni and Melody. Besides their transformations, something about Danni's personality really got me gravitated to her, and Melody is such a cute character.
Oh my god, the worms...gross little things, but it makes sense. I sense that Mrs. Simpson or that janitor placed the worms there.
Other than that, great beginning. You did say this was going to be short, but I enjoy it thus far. I look forward to what else you may have in store.
| Rahkshi500 chapter 2 . 12/16/2010
Glad to finally see this up. I think this is a good way to start the story. Danni and Melody are very fun, especially Danni, and their transformations are sexy to read. I'm excited to see where the story goes after this.
| CrazyNinjaPenguin chapter 2 . 12/16/2010
Well, that was a certainly long read. But nothing wrong with that. It was all pretty excellent.
I like seeing Natalie again; that's kind of fun.
Of the new characters, I find myself most drawn Danni so far. She seem cute and her transformation sounds sexy. I kind of also like Haruboshi for some reason. But overall, it seems like a fairly solid cast.
Not sure what else to say. Plot was pretty exciting, despite mostly being only the setup phase showing how the protagonists gain their powers. I'm eager to see where things take off from here.
Oh, and thanks for advertising my story. It's much appreciated.