I had saved another of yours to read, but I chose to read this instead. To my surprise, I like it. I like how a simple thought can be a story. It's most inspiring.

Ah, I remember this. Still as awesome as on the first read. I love all the random names and the fragments of separate threads and the thoughts and the hint, just a hint, of a person behind it all. It kind of breezes through to the end and I like how the flow is so natural even though it's so broken up. Very easy to read and very easy to enjoy. Great work, again!

Correction: The sentence "I used to become a Christian" doesn't make sense. Especially because when someone is born again, they will always been born again.

Was this intentional?: The story was extremely erratic. This could be a good thing if that is how it's meant. But there does not seem to be a story at all - it's a stream of consciousness. It's interesting, but very difficult to follow. Lots of philisophy, very little physiology. You made the story very conversational, which is great for this theme. Character seems interesting. Is he about to commit suicide?

I thought this story was beautiful. It was simple but there was beauty in the simplicity. I love how you slowly revealed things about the main character through his thoughts. The way you wrote his emotions was gorgeous. It was like I could hear him whispering these things in my ear. Beautiful piece.

~Cynic

I really loved this! It was almost like taking the culture sort of idea of the rockstar that you have in five ways... and then putting a much darker character spin on it! I loved the lyricism of the whole thing too, I think the end had the best rhyme and melody that led up to also sort of stunning the reader for a moment too-I would never end differently, it was very snappy. I really liked how you put in a plot and characters into this too, you gave the speaker back story with each jump, and the bits with the different women added fantastic dimension to this! Really, this was great. I also loved the lines "With whom do I want to party? Who do I love?" that really jumped out at me, just like the last part i those four lines too. Well done, the experimental quality was successful, for sure!

I'm kinda terrible at reviewing, so I apologize in advance.

I love the short, terse, stream of consciousness style. I write like that a lot, as I used to RP often. It's hard to follow what he's talking about at first, but it gradually flows together quite well. Anyway, being a music lover/singer/writer, I liked the part about the lyrics controversy. I really like the ending-story just rolls along and then WHAM-GUN. Didn't see that coming. Told you I suck at this, lol. Well done.

Short simple sentence structure flows almost like lines of poetry. Each one reveals so much and you have a knack for making each word count and creating vivid images with your word choices. Amazingly well done.

Hehe, that wasn't bad. It was actually really cool. I liked it -

I think you're really skilled in writing stuff -

It's just to bad people don't review more...

First off, I love the Foo Fighters. They really are a band that doesn’t get appreciated enough. Haha.

I have to admit, it was kind of hard for me to get into the flow of this at first. I thought it was a bit choppy. Though, this was all just my first impressions of it. I read it a second time and found that I could get into it a lot easier. There were so many lines that I really liked. This was really original, and once I got into the flow of the story and started figuring out the story to it I really could appreciate it. Nice job.

“Death would be so easy, if my soul could survive. Just take the gun and click. Reset.”

-I loved that line.

Wow, this was interesting. I like how it was separated into short pieces. It was thought provoking.

This was a really interesting read - not so often you have to think so hard about a story here ;) It took me a while to get into teh flow of the vignettes, but once i did, you can just let it carry you, and the atmosphere comes through really well: the disillusion, the detachment, the despair. i like how you show all sorts of different sides to this guy through the vignettes, building up his characters through little flashes. that gimpsing style works well with the intro set up, and also reminds me f cars headlights at night, which tied in with the highway refernce and the idea of the endless road, endless, pointless travel that his life is going through. nice one!

Awesome story. It just makes it better that you added in a Foo Fighters lyrics. I hope one day I will be as awesome a drummer as Dave Grohl. I'll keep wishing :)

Please make more stories like this :)