Reviews for Sparks and Flames
greesebomb chapter 2 . 1/3/2011
Not a bad start. I really enjoyed the foreshadowing in the Prologue and the story development is going you might explain a better description of Arwen's face and physical size cause I'm struggling a bit imagining those. Hope you keep it going and I will make sure to keep reviewing them :).
The-One-Who-Needs-A-Life chapter 2 . 1/3/2011
I like the way you write things, I didn't want to stop reading it, please update soon! I must of missed a bit, What the hell happened to her mum? did she die or what?

Anyway, Liked it -don't really understand how it's fantast yet- want to read more of it, going to favourite it D

P.S. check some things. You added in extra words, and forgot speach marks somewhere in the prologue, still fantastic though!
Afroham chapter 2 . 1/3/2011
My that woman is terrifying. Throwing shards of glass because Arwen broke some plates is quite uncalled for. It speaks of a abusive authority figure, which makes the compromising exchange a strange and unexplained contradiction.

I have to say I like this second chapter more than the first, in part because it is slower. You have clear descriptions about what happens during the dialogue, and you've done well in establishing your relations. The first chapter feels rushed really, more like a quick establishment of the rules than a solid opener. Likely that chapter should be revised a bit to make things flow a bit more smoothly, especially since it is your clincher, the chapter that draws people to read more.

I'd also avoid namedropping as much in the future chapters. In the second chapter there is not enough to make it ground breaking, but it does tend to distract a bit. Still it engrains the names of the characters, so it is not a huge problem.

Overall, a good and promising section to this story. I wish you luck in your undertaking and I hope you'll take a look at my story "The End of Days"

-Afroman
graeliwil chapter 2 . 1/3/2011
Hmm... I think this will turn out to be something quite exciting :) I'm looking forwards to more chapters, the only thing I can point out is that you have made a few spelling and grammar mistakes, things like commas, which can probably be easily remedied by typing the story into Word before submitting? Good story.
generic-pen-name chapter 1 . 12/27/2010
Magic AND political intrigue? Aw yeah, I am ALL about that! :P

Very promising start so far, and the opening bit definitely hooked me. The verb-tense confusion was a little distracting, but you're already aware of that, and it's nothing a quick edit wouldn't fix. Hope to read more soon!