Hey I love your stories i wish i could write like that, if only i could,but i can' 't mind me waisting space so it looks like i wrote more but i don't now what to say but , what a great story and keep up the good work and mabey one day you will become a famous writer or somethingy but i guess i will leave that to you!

Good Work!

Taldana

I like your story so far! I'm can't wait for your next chapter!

interesting...

*nods* very cool... very cool...

Seems as though you have a good start for now, just edit through it a bit more there were some mistakes. And try using semicolons more often, like in this sentence: Wisps of blond hair had found it's way over the beautifully decorated gold crown and now rested on his handsome face, blue eyes stared curiously at the Great Oracle.

- You could put a semi colon between face and blue since they're both complete sentences - or you could just do ,and. Otherwise, good story! Just make sure you explain who Jovan Vondag and Talakeet are, maybe a list of names/places would help?

Great story, keep it up! I'm interested!