|Reviews for defeat|
| AppleCrumble chapter 1 . 2/8/2012
This is brilliant, I love its imagery and it is full of brilliant lines 'Cunning River' - AMAZING! Loved it, you're a really skilled writer!
| CorkyBookworm1 chapter 1 . 1/3/2012
This entire poem is so chalk full of imagery and...and well it's just so...there are no words for it! I can honestly say that I absoloutly love every- EVERY- word of it...except the two lines that read "I lose myself in the world of pollution and Corporations". Now, maybe it's just me, but that didn't seem to fit. I agree with the previous reviewer who said that it seemed to send him/her to a simpler time. I deffinately felt that way. (I don't suppose it helps that I just finished reading Tarzan of the Apes by Edgar Rice Burroughs, but...) Anyway, I could pull out every other line and say something excellent about it, but instead I'll just say that I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I read it several times. It is by far my favorite of what I have read of yours. I felt pullled into it almost. Now, that takes talent, to pull a reader into your story and make them sense what you will them to. Very excellent job, most amazing piece!
| Ivy Climbroe chapter 1 . 8/1/2011
THIS IS THE BEST POEM EVER CONTINUE
| Insanity Streak chapter 1 . 1/11/2011
Fabulous poem. You have some great lines and even better imagery within them. "I begin to perish like a fading star" That line is just wow. It is one of the best lines of this poem along with a few others. Also the similie: "as cunning as a river" Personally, I don't see how a river is cunning; if there was a bit more emphasis on that idea then it would probably be a bit clearer to me, but, each to their own I guess.
Apart from the imagery of this piece, I really love the nature theme, along with the mention of the warrior. It gives me the feeling that I am being transported back to a simpler time and I feel kind of peaceful, especially with the mention of a warrior; it makes me think of chivalry and ideals that were meant to serve everyone not just a single person (which can happen today I guess.)
Another thought that popped into my head is that it seems as if there are two definitive parts to this poem and it makes me think of past lives and reincarnation. Where one life was about supporting ideals that benefited the whole and a second life where it's to live to support yourself only really.
The constructive criticism I have to offer is this: Punctuation. You write beautifully and when I see that your pieces don't have the proper punctuation, it makes me not value the poem as much as I could. Fullstops at least make the poem look a bit more polished.
Also, just a single spelling error: warier should be warrior.
Great piece and I really enjoyed reading this. Just as a side note, this could of been categorised in nature rather than general but anyway, it is hardly a crime.
I hope that you can keep writing pieces that revolve around themes of chivalry and honourable ideals. It's refresher in comparison to some of the more personal and deeper written poems out there. I like!
| Music4ever1617 chapter 1 . 12/31/2010
Wow is all I can say.
This is great I adore it. :) This is one of my favorite poems. I love the line, " I'm the one, one who walks on water. Instead of shutting the world out." It's very good and impressive.
| SargentLooneyPencil chapter 1 . 12/29/2010
I LOVE tHIS! i love it! i love it.. it's perfect!