I actually kind of like it. It's really dark, and it's sick in it's own way, but it's the perfect contrast with the mind of the child. It's really sick, but the way you wrote it was really good. Almost like reading art, but not so much art, but more story.

Update! Xx

You and your friend are really good writers, even if this was a bit sick. lol But I think you should keep writing. Agian it was really good!