Reviews for Inoutside
sophiesix chapter 1 . 1/7/2011
I like the contrasting tones, they keep sparking my interest all throughout this piece: the raw harshness of 'frigid bitch', the sensual lull of "he nuzzles his way to your lips", the bits of thought and speech and different languages all marrying together. The white blue hair, amethyst eyes and silver in the toes hinted to me a futuristic or otherwordly being, and the sense of sadness and isolation went really nicely with that, as well as contrasting perfectly with the guys warmth and poetry. Perhaps because I'm female, the narrator sounded female to me at first, but around 'lo differente', I realised we didn't know for sure. That was intriguing in itself, and another reason for the pull of the piece.

I like how you resolve the tension with the ending, so that though there are still so many unknowns, it still feels satisfying. nice work and thanks for a good read!
downforthecount chapter 1 . 1/5/2011
I really enjoyed this. I loved the line about the ice sculpture and the last line. I hope you do write more short pieces like this.
WishesofImmortality chapter 1 . 1/4/2011
MaGa!

This is beautiful, I told you that already. Your prose is so unique, so different than what I'm used to - it's more like prose poetry than anything else.

One thing I noticed though: "it feels so good, too good to fail" should have a comma after 'fail' and before the quotation marks. :)

I love love love the last line. Gargoyles are usually representative of ugly, or some kind of evil, but you manage to make them a good thing. Lovely. :)