|Reviews for Big Bad Wolf|
| kim.french.3720 chapter 4 . 4/19/2015
Love it pleeaase update!
| Biteback chapter 4 . 10/19/2011
Why does your writing have so little reviews?
Seriously, youre amazing wtf is wrong with people?
Keep writing man, i promise to review.
| bonghi chapter 4 . 9/27/2011
So good. I love both Alyson and Hayden and the plot is more than interesting. This story is awesome and I can't wait to read more.
| driftin away chapter 4 . 6/28/2011
I am very much enjoying this story- and all your others actually. You are my favorite author on fictionpress. 3 Please update soon!
| The.Violent.Spazz chapter 4 . 6/26/2011
Jumping out of a window.
Sounds like fun :D
| The.Violent.Spazz chapter 3 . 2/20/2011
YOU SHOULD UPDATE THIS, FOR THIS IS THE BEST THING I'VE READ ALL WEEKEND! :)
| Jasmine chapter 3 . 1/17/2011
Oh la la. i like where this is going. :D
| Its.Not.Me.Its.You chapter 3 . 1/13/2011
I love it!
Can't wait for more!
Please update soon!
| XxSiennaxX chapter 3 . 1/12/2011
I'm really enjoying your story so far and I hope she finds some way to break up with Luke before things become too complicated.
Can't wait to find out how your story will progress and I don't mind if you do/ don't reply to reviews - if you don't want to I'd suggest leaving a little note at the end of each chapter thanking a list of people who reviewed - they'd would be more likely to review again if you did :)
| Mysterious MD chapter 2 . 1/11/2011
That was an interesting chapter. It was well written, I didn't encounter any spelling or grammar errors. We see that she was found and is bandaged up. We then see the mystery man question her about her wound and current condition, leading us to believe something is bound to happen. I look forward to reading more, keep up the good writing.
| Mad Asher chapter 2 . 1/11/2011
Unusual for me to read past the first chapter, but there ya go ya got me hooked. Since I think your writing style is polished and you actually have considerable talent (which very few unpublished writers have), I'm actually going to help you out with grammar/punctuation and the works, rather than just saying 'AWESOME' and stuff like that.
When the main character replies, 'Attacked my neighbor's dog', should be attacked BY the dog. Readers think that the character attacked the dog and the dog bit him. Which could work, doesn't make a difference, but you could clarify what really happened.
I like the dialogue it cuts right to the point and pretty dynamic. Just minor grammar errors:
-'Getting attacked by dogs takes a lot of memory power' ... WTF? What does that mean? What is memory power and how that ties into fight?
-'Surre'. You don't have to ...' Speaks for itself.
-'The Cambodian or whatever food was good' Sounds awkward, maybe change to 'Cambodian or whatever KIND OF food IT WAS sounds good'.
-REALLY she said. Could phrase it as a rhetorical question, like 'REALLY?' she 'ASKED' not said.
'No sex." I told her. You have a habit in general, I think there are other mistakes like this, but replace the period with a comma because it's one continuous line of thought, and "I told her" is not a sentence by itself (told her what?
-'Finding nothing terrifying about him' refering to the dark-haired boy. Sounds a little awkward, maybe 'I checked him out running a brief glance over him and got no bad/terrifying vibes from him'.
-"It's one thirty." I told him. Again, period - comma. Lots more similar errors but you get the idea.
-I'm nitpicking but word choices sometimes are awkward. 'I told you the time, now leave'. This probably wouldn't be phrased like so in actual conversation, change to 'I gave you the time'. Really minor but lots more irregularities in word choice like that.
-I like how you end this chapter with a suspense. Weirdo guy asks strange questions and vanishes. Only thing at the end, I'm not sure about this but mesh the last two paragraphs together into one. The reason is you don't start a new paragraph until it's another person talking or a different trail of thought. So When he says 'What's your name', and later he says 'Never mind' include that in same paragraph because he's just continuing his speech.
I like it so far. Keep up the good work
| Mad Asher chapter 1 . 1/11/2011
"The wind rippled across the valley, creating visible ribbons of snow streaming across the sky. Black trees towered above the rocky snow covered mountains, untouched by the pure white flakes. The world was a painting of snow, ice, mountains, trees. And wolves."
I usually don't review stories especially ones with description since I have attention span issues, but I couldn't pass this one off because I liked the first few sentences.
You're very descriptive and the words flow very well together. I like the description of blood/violence and the gore, it's very interesting at least to me. Really good writing style think i' gona have 2 favorite this.
| rohimalala chapter 2 . 1/11/2011
i really love your style of writing.
and i love the story..
good plot. :)
| alphabetgena chapter 1 . 1/11/2011
This is great. The idea is really unique and interesting. I have never read anything like this before. I'm excited to see what happens next.
| Mysterious MD chapter 1 . 1/10/2011
That was an interesting start. Very dark, and sad. She feels no fear and because of that hates herself for her lack of emotion. It's sad but well written. Then we see her pass out due to blood loss. Keep up the good writing.