Reviews for You, Me, and Puyallup
simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 2/6/2011
Review Marathon this weekend! (link in my profile)

That first stanza the phrasing seemed really odd to me. I feel like you needed a comma after though not at all or something because it didn't read well since the part without mostly isn't really a sentence... Also teh same thing in the first couplet at the end. I think to fit in with the stanza before it husing would be better. Otherwise I might make it a new sentence.

I loved the part about the memories. That was a really beautiful and unique description. Great job with that. I also thought connecting the beginning and end like that worked well to remind the reader that what you just said was something that was mostly, though not at all.
IronSpockMaster chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
I like the short lines because they create a sense of atmosphere, almost of sense of expectation in the poem.

I also like how the last line is the same as the first because it gives the poem a sense of closure.
amavian chapter 1 . 1/15/2011
its really cool how you go in and out of time