|Reviews for You, Me, and Puyallup|
| simpleplan13 chapter 1 . 2/6/2011
Review Marathon this weekend! (link in my profile)
That first stanza the phrasing seemed really odd to me. I feel like you needed a comma after though not at all or something because it didn't read well since the part without mostly isn't really a sentence... Also teh same thing in the first couplet at the end. I think to fit in with the stanza before it husing would be better. Otherwise I might make it a new sentence.
I loved the part about the memories. That was a really beautiful and unique description. Great job with that. I also thought connecting the beginning and end like that worked well to remind the reader that what you just said was something that was mostly, though not at all.
| IronSpockMaster chapter 1 . 1/16/2011
I like the short lines because they create a sense of atmosphere, almost of sense of expectation in the poem.
I also like how the last line is the same as the first because it gives the poem a sense of closure.
| amavian chapter 1 . 1/15/2011
its really cool how you go in and out of time